joe-ks.com

Christmas Weather Forecast
Big thaw in turkey sales predicted for holiday season

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190oF.

The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates.

Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway.

During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34oF in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to the next two days, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established.

Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day.

We expect a warming trend where soup develops.

By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.


see also   Turkey  &  Weather  Sections

Little Johnny loved stare contests with the dog
I Can Still Kiss You
Adding special ingredients to the menu
Church Dinner
Doubles as a fishing boat with fins on the water
59 Chev Boat
Carrier pigeons that were faster than speeding bullets
Urgent World War I Message
Costa Concordia ship disguise to enter Canadian waters
An Iceberg Floated Into Town
The hazards of vertical electronic traffic lights
Walk Sign Timing
It's all in the hands...
Family Hands
Designer bed toppings for kids
Chocolate Bed
Walking into a feeding frenzy in the house
Crocodile Floor
Looks like the neighborhood is safe
Texas 911
Digital sign spells end of analog pedestrian
Walk Sign Ending
91 year old grandpa mowing his ditch banks
Mower Handle Extender
Taking a bite out of a scary trip to the Dentist
Dentist Waiting Room
Nature complete with a clapper
Ice Bell
Because riding ponies is for pussies
Reptile Ride
Looking for inspiration to carry on with the rest of the day
Morning Inspiration
Was that text that important?
Fatal Text Message
Submissions by Wayne NowazekFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

27-May-2012

QR Code

G'Oldies

Apathetic Ignorance
'Hooked On Clothes' Cat
Redneck Motor Boat
Love Bike
Bird Watcher Exam
Lego Church
Swimming Buddies
Waterslide & Piranha Sa ...
They Found Your Balls
Sushi Earrings
Robert Frost Quotes
Coke Advertising Slogan ...
Redneck Camera Phone
Baby Suit
Puzzle Makers
Mom Tested, Mom Approve ...
Redneck Letter - from M ...
Orca Season
Redneck Motorcycle Tran ...
Silent Monks Singing Ha ...
Push Door
Chain Gang Message 4U
Thai Bikers: Whoever Fa ...
Recession Boss
Things To Bring
Tim Thomas in the Hands ...
Pulley Car
Eiffel Slide
Hippy Birthday
Ultimate Navigation
Ancient Japanese Prover ...
A Cup of GI Joe
Bear Flop Fishing
Young Window Cleaner
Hot Dog Cooker
Rotating Illusion - Pin ...