Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
No nice men are good at getting taxis. - Katharine Whitehorn

I like a man who grins when he fights. - Winston Churchill

A man's life is what his thoughts make it. - Marcus Aurelius

Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do. - Voltaire

It is part of human nature to hate the man you have hurt. - Tacitus

I have much more faith in a kind man than I do in mankind. - Unknown

A wise man will live as much within his wit as his income. - Philip Dormer Stanhope

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. - Napoleon Hill

A man must eat a peck of salt with his friend before he knows him. - Miguel De Cervantes

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education. - Bertrand Russell

Classical quotation is the parole of literary men all over the world. - Samuel Johnson

The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least. - Unknown

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright

If you need something done ask a busy man, no one else will have time to do it. - Unknown

Monsters don’t exist. It’s men you should be afraid of, not monsters. - Niccolò Ammaniti

Enthusiasm is a vital element toward the individual success of every man or woman. - Conrad Hilton

Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

When you speak to a man, look on his eyes; when he speaks to thee, look on his mouth. - Benjamin Franklin

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

When you have robbed a man of everything, he is no longer in your power. He is free again. - Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

The truly free man is the one who will turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. - Jules Renard

Often statistics are used as a drunken man uses lamp posts… for support rather than illumination. - Andrew Lang

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy. What right have we then to depreciate imagination. - Carl Jung

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth, even if it costs them their jobs. - Samuel Goldwyn

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Who is the happiest man? He who is alive to the merit of others, and can rejoice in their enjoyment as if it were his own. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones. - Bertrand Russell

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem. - George Bernard Shaw

The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress. - M.W. Larmour

Mathematics began to seem too much like puzzle solving. Physics is puzzle solving, too, but of puzzles created by nature, not by the mind of man. - Maria G. Mayer


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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17-Jul-2018