Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

Ability is a poor man's wealth. - John Wooden

Give me a man who sings at his work. - Thomas Carlyle

Men are creatures with two legs and eight hands. - Jayne Mansfield

A man is not old as long as he is seeking something. - Jean Rostand

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. - Kin Hubbard

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown

A man who won't die for something is not fit to live. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Deliberation is the work of many men. Action, of one alone. - Charles de Gaulle

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

Am I afraid of high notes? Of course I am afraid. What sane man is not? - Luciano Pavarotti

An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. - Alfred A. Knopf

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Never forget that it is not a pneumonia, but a pneumonic man who is your patient. - William Withey Gull

The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart. - Benjamin Franklin

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. - Samuel Johnson

During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk. - Soren Kierkegaard

Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him. - Aldous Huxley

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. - H L Mencken

Man is always prey to his truths. Once he has admitted them, he cannot free himself from them. - Albert Camus

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him. - Sidney Greenberg

The truly free man is the one who will turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. - Jules Renard

Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say why not? - George Bernard Shaw

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history. - Aldous Huxley

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

I really believe that more harm is done by old men who cling to their influence than by young men who anticipate it. - Owen D. Young

I met a man at a party. He said, "I'm writing a novel." I said, "Oh, really? Neither am I." - Peter Cook

To be loved at first sight, a man should have at the same time something to respect and something to pity in his face. - Stendhal

Who is the happiest man? He who is alive to the merit of others, and can rejoice in their enjoyment as if it were his own. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian

Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. - Seneca

There is something feeble and a little contemptible about a man who cannot face the perils of life without the help of comfortable myths. - Bertrand Russell

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. - Thomas Jefferson

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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28-Mar-2017