Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
Man is not made for defeat. - Ernest Hemingway

Strong men criticize themselves. - Unknown

God created man, but I could do better. - Erma Bombeck

Every man must get to heaven his own way. - Frederick the Great

And all may do what has by man been done. - Edward Young

A rich man is never ugly in the eyes of a girl. - French Proverb

A reckless man by nature who attempted unusual deeds. - Leo the Deacon

The superior man is distressed by his want of ability. - Confucius

Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses. - Dorothy Parker

Talk to a man about himself, and he will listen for hours. - Benjamin Disraeli

The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune. - Plutarch

The wisest man is generally he who thinks himself the least so. - Nicolas Baileau

Once at least in his life each man walks with Christ to Emmaus. - Oscar Wilde

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? - Stanislaw J. Lec

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor. - Seneca

The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones. - William Shakespeare

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

The apprenticeship of difficulty is one which the greatest of men have had to serve. - Samuel Smiles

Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct. - Thomas Jefferson

A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's. - Jean Paul Richter

Inaction will cause a man to sink into the slough of despond and vanish without a trace. - Farley Mowat

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. - Mark Twain

The greatest honor that can come to a man is the appreciation and high regard of his fellow men. - H.G. Mendelson

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

The wisdom of man never yet contrived a system of taxation that would operate with perfect equality. - Andrew Jackson

Human reason is like a drunken man on horseback, set it up on one side and it tumbles over on the other. - Martin Luther

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian

Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not mean his maker, but himself. - William R Inge

There comes a stage at which a man would rather die cleanly by a bullet than by the unknown terror of the phantom in the forest. - Tahir Shah

Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though 'twere his own. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Sudoku Sampler C

Kangaroo On Ice

Dunking Straw

Abbey Road

Redneck's Open Range

I 'Saw' An Accident

Noodle Art

Texas Cow Cleaner

Here Comes Another One

Protractor Cook

Falling In Love

Owl And Batgirl

Sitting on the Hot Seat

Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Hawaii Surfing

Cloud Swing

Stork Exhaust

Napping Semis

Jigsaw Sudoku Puzzles B

Smoking In The Boy’s Room
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23-Feb-2018