Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
Men are mad things. - William Shakespeare

Strong men criticize themselves. - Unknown

To the man who is afraid everything rustles. - Sophocles

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them. - Samuel Palmer

There is no client as scary as an innocent man. - J. Michael Haller

One man's meat is another man's poison. - Lucretius

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

Try not to become a man of success but a man of value. - Albert Einstein

Anybody can make history, only a great man can write it. - Oscar Wilde

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy. - WC Fields

It is of men, and of them only, that one should always be frightened. - Louis-Ferdinand CĂ©line

I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women. - Queen Christina of Sweden

What a man needs in gardening is a cast-iron back with a hinge in it. - Charles D. Warner

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. - Kin Hubbard

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can. - Jean Kerr

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

I am an old man and have known many troubles, but most of them never happened. - Mark Twain

A failure is a man who has blundered but is not able to cash in on the experience. - Elbert Hubbard

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

To be feared of a thing and yet to do it, is what makes the prettiest kind of a man. - Robert Louis Stevenson

When men are easy in their circumstances, they are naturally enemies to innovations. - Joseph Addison

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Sir Roger Bannister

Whether you're a man or not comes from your heart, not how much hair you have on your head. - Bruce Willis

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

Bogart could have been color blind. He got to know a man before he decided if he liked him or not. - Sammy Davis, Jr.

All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy. What right have we then to depreciate imagination. - Carl Jung

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

If only every man would make proper use of his strength and do his utmost, he need never regret his limited ability. - Cicero

The best portion of a good man's life;
His little nameless, unremembered acts
Of kindness and of love. - William Wordsworth

It is too often seen, that the wiser men are about the things of this world, the less wise they are about the things of the next. - Edmund Gibson

There is no other way to guard yourself against flattery than by making men understand that telling you the truth will not offend you. - Niccolo Machiavelli

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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24-Jun-2017