Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

A man may learn wisdom even from a foe. - Aristophenes

The will of man is by his reason swayed. - Izaak Walton

The man with no imagination has no wings. - Muhammad Ali

The best way to hold a man is in your arms. - Mae West

Every man is the architect of his own fortune. - Sallust

Man arrives as a novice at each age of his life. - Nicolas Collins

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can. - Michel de Montaigne

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart. - Jonathan Swift

The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out. - Chinese Proverb

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Every man who wants to be President is either an egomaniac or crazy. - Dwight D Eisenhower

There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis

A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits. - Richard M Nixon

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it. - Samuel Butler

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. - William Butler Yeats

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood

Every man in the world is better than someone else. And not as good as someone else. - William Saroyan

A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top. - Unknown

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows. - Dwight D Eisenhower

See how the boy is with his sister and you can know how the man will be with your daughter. - Sioux Proverb

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers. - Thomas Jefferson

Man has made many machines, complex and cunning, but which of them indeed rivals the workings of his heart? - Pablo Casals

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Never marvel at the strength of a man's words, but rather by the determination and truthfulness of his actions. - Unknown

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. - Sydney Harris

Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not mean his maker, but himself. - William R Inge

I like to have nice conversations with a man that teach me something, make me mad, make me curious. Then I find him attractive. - Renee Zellweger

There are many humorous things in the world: among them the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages. - Mark Twain

One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do. - Henry Ford

Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster

Be not afraid of greatness
some men (people) are born great
some achieve greatness,
and some have greatness thrust upon them. - William Shakespeare

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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27-May-2018