Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
A patient man will ultimately succeed. - Unknown

Wise is the man who knows he has enough. - Unknown

I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick

In my mind I'm a blind man doin' time. - Tupac Shakur

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. - Groucho Marx

Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of our science. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can. - Michel de Montaigne

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. - Oscar Wilde

I am the least difficult of men. All I want is boundless love. - Frank O'Hara

A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. - Latin Proverb

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

No man is lonely eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention. - Christopher Morley

A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears. - Michel de Montaigne

Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future. - Jimmy Carter

For every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability. - Oscar Wilde

The trouble with being best man is you don't get a chance to prove it. - Les A Murray

The gem cannot be polished without friction, not a man perfected without trials. - Chinese Proverb

The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones. - William Shakespeare

I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing. - Socrates

Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror. - Jean Rostand

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Andre Gide

The history of free men is never really written by chance but by choice; their choice! - Dwight D Eisenhower

Men gets these here, waddya call, surges, where the chromostones are burlin' over. - Archie Bunker

Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. - Plato

Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true. - Demosthenes

All things will be clear and distinct to the man who does not hurry; haste is blind and improvident. - Livy

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. - Kurt Vonnegut

Freedom is man's capacity to take a hand in his own development. It is our capacity to mold ourselves. - Rollo May

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

Every man is afraid of something. That's how you know he's in love with you; when he is afraid of losing you. - Unknown

A man never spoke ill of his captain, pirate or no, unless he was prepared to back his words with the might of the crew. - Matt Tomerlin

Who is the happiest man? He who is alive to the merit of others, and can rejoice in their enjoyment as if it were his own. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The purpose of architecture is to shelter and enhance man's life on earth and to fulfill his belief in the nobility of his existence. - Eero Saarinen

Each one must learn for himself the highest wisdom. It cannot be taught in words. Men who work cannot dream, and wisdom comes to us in dreams. - Smohalla

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. - Germaine Greer

It is another's fault if he be ungrateful, but it is mine if I do not give. To find one thankful man, I will oblige a great many that are not so. - Seneca


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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19-Apr-2019