Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
A man must learn to forgive himself. - Arthur Davis Ficke

Give me a man who sings at his work. - Thomas Carlyle

Where a man feels pain he lays his hand. - Dutch Proverb

Man is free at the instant he wants to be. - Voltaire

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them. - Samuel Palmer

Very few people know this man was born an only twin. - Henny Youngman

Try not to become a man of success but a man of value. - Albert Einstein

You, a man of the cloth, hidin' behind your hassock. - Archie Bunker

Men's best successes come after their disappointments. - Henry Ward Beecher

Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them. - Robert G Ingersoll

The great man is one who never loses his child’s heart. - Mencius

He is a man, and he is afraid. This is not a good combination. - Kristin Hannah

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

The things which are impossible with men are possible with God. - Luke 18:27

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for? - Robert Browning

The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least. - Unknown

Truly intelligent men know better than to take themselves too seriously. - Unknown

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Great men are rarely isolated mountain peaks; they are the summits of ranges. - Thomas W. Higginson

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

It is not by spectacular achievements that man can be transformed, but by will. - Henrik Ibsen

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

Most of the evils of life arise from man's inability to sit still in a room. - Blaise Pascal

Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror. - Jean Rostand

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool. - George Santayana

Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius. - Matthew McConaughey

Beethoven's last quartets were written by a deaf man and should only be listened to by a deaf man. - Thomas Beecham

Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say why not? - George Bernard Shaw

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

I like the West. That's where men are men and women are women, and it's hard to beat a combination like that. - Milton Berle

Psychiatrists say it's not good for man to keep too much to himself. The Internal Revenue Service says the same thing. - Harold Smith

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? - Bible

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

It is another's fault if he be ungrateful, but it is mine if I do not give. To find one thankful man, I will oblige a great many that are not so. - Seneca

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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27-Apr-2017