Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
A gentle man and a gentleman. - Jack Dempsey

Bed is the poor man's opera. - Italian Proverb

A rich man's joke is always funny. - Thomas Edward Brown

Good men must die, but death cannot kill their names. - Danish Proverb

The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day. - John Milton

Meet success like a gentleman and disaster like a man. - Lord Birkenhead

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

What a lover's heart knows let no man's brain dispute. - Aberjhani

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. - Ogden Nash

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability. - Oscar Wilde

Truth is the property of no individual, but is the treasure of all men. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who holds a low opinion of himself. - Anthony Trollope

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. - Oscar Wilde

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

It's called MENOPAUSE for a reason... MEN should PAUSE before they speak! - Unknown

It's not the men in your life that counts - it's the life in your men. - Mae West

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he's too old for it. - Unknown

The wise man should be prepared for everything that does not lie within his control. - Pythagoras

Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them. - Adlai Stevenson

Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead. - Lucille Ball

A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world. - George Santayana

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman! - Homer Simpson

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

The most important thing my father taught me is that every man has to stand up for his rights. - Ziggy Marley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. - Mark Twain

A man can do only what a man can do. But if he does that each day, he can sleep at night and do it again the next day. - Albert Schweitzer

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not mean his maker, but himself. - William R Inge

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances. - James Allen

The greater a man is in power above others, the more he ought to excel them in virtue. None ought to govern who is not better than the governed. - Publilius Syrus

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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25-Jun-2019