Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
Man is a god in ruins. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Know the great men of your age. - Baltasar Gracian

You make me want to be a better man. - Jack Nicholson

God made man because he loves stories. - Elie Wiesel

A man that has had his fill is no eater. - Spain Proverb

The man who fears losing has already lost. - George R.R. Martin

To the man who is afraid everything rustles. - Sophocles

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

No man is free who is not a master of himself. - Epictetus

The man ain't got a regleamin' feature. - Archie Bunker

An honest man's word is as good as his bond. - Cervantes

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you. - Bert L. Taylor

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. - Oscar Wilde

This is one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind. - Neil Armstrong

Love is like playing checkers. You have to know which man to move. - Jackie Mabley

History is a cyclic poem written by time upon the memories of man. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? - Homer Simpson

Here lies a man named Zeke,
Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek. - Unknown

The man who never makes mistakes loses a great many chances to learn something. - Unknown

It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor. - Seneca

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. - H L Mencken

If a man take no thought about what is distant, he will find sorrow near at hand. - Confucius

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. - Unknown

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

No man can be called friendless when he has God and the companionship of good books. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top. - Unknown

A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never quite sure. - Lee Segall

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose. - Mark Twain

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

A blind man can make art if what is in his mind can be passed to another mind in some tangible form. - Sol LeWitt

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. - Mark 10:25

Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. - Dale Carnegie

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor. - Henry David Thoreau

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Faced with crisis, the man of character falls back on himself. He imposes his own stamp of action, takes responsibility for it, makes it his own. - Charles De Gaulle

There is always room for a man of force and he makes room for many. Society is a troop of thinkers and the best heads among them take the best places. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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18-Aug-2017