Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
A good man is always a beginner. - Martial

Hope is the dream of the waking man. - French Proverb

Adversity tests a man's true character. - Unknown

If a man does his best, what else is there? - George S Patton

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Eunuch: A man who has had his works cut out for him. - Robert Byrne

That man is truly good who knows his own dark places. - Beowulf

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it. - Oscar Wilde

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite. - Winston Churchill

If the world were a logical place, men would ride sidesaddle. - Rita Mae Brown

A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears. - Michel de Montaigne

History is a cyclic poem written by time upon the memories of man. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

Every man who wants to be President is either an egomaniac or crazy. - Dwight D Eisenhower

The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. - Winston Churchill

A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money. - Carter Glass

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. - Ernest Hemingway

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

It's not the men in your life that counts - it's the life in your men. - Mae West

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

No man can be called friendless when he has God and the companionship of good books. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Andre Gide

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. - Mark Twain

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

That man is prudent who neither hopes nor fears anything from the uncertain events of the future. - Anatole France

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

The demand for certainty is one which is natural to man, but is nevertheless an intellectual vice. - Bertrand Russell

A man who thinks too much about his ancestors is like a potato - the best part of him is underground. - Henry Cooper

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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17-Oct-2017