Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
All real men love to eat. - Marlene Dietrich

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Old men are children for a second time. - Aristophanes

A man is known by the company he avoids. - Unknown

Heaven never helps the man who will not act. - Sophocles

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

All men are Jews, except they don't know it. - Bernard Malamud

Man has no nobler function than to defend the truth. - Mahalia Jackson

Though you break your heart, men will go on as before. - Marcus Aurelius

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. - William C. McAdoo

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

Anybody can make history, only a great man can write it. - Oscar Wilde

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

It is absurd that a man should rule others, who cannot rule himself. - Latin Proverb

The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others. - Hasidic Proverb

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel

Has anyone noticed that in heaven all the interesting men are missing? - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. - Edmund Burke

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

The happy man is not he who seems thus to others, but who seems thus to himself. - Marcel Proust

Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror. - Jean Rostand

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives. - Abba Eban

It's not the size of the man in the fight, but the size of the fight in the man. - Unknown

To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a nail. - Abraham Maslow

I should rather men ask why no statue has been erected in my honour, than why one has. - Marcus Porcius Cato

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that man's shoes. - Elvis Presley

Men are born with two eyes but with one tongue, in order that they may see twice as much as they say. - C.C. Colton

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side. - Joseph Addison

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

What was most significant about the lunar voyage was not that men set foot on the moon but that they set eye on the earth. - Norman Cousins

Psychiatrists say it's not good for man to keep too much to himself. The Internal Revenue Service says the same thing. - Harold Smith

As long as the world shall last there will be wrongs, and if no man objected and no man rebelled, those wrongs would last forever. - Clarence Darrow

The important question is not, what will yield to man a few scattered pleasures, but what will render his life happy on the whole amount. - Joseph Addison


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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16-Dec-2018