Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

A man's bar is his castle - Archie Bunker

A man that is afraid is never a man. - Henry Ward Beecher

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them. - Moliere

Once on his feet, though, man does not stay where he is. - Frederic Gros

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it. - Oscar Wilde

Deliberation is the work of many men. Action, of one alone. - Charles de Gaulle

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

The man who forgets to be grateful has fallen asleep in life. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I'd like to live like a poor man, only with lots of money. - Pablo Picasso

When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them. - China Proverb

The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus. - Bruce Lee

Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. - Napoleon Hill

A man is never so on trial as in the moment of excessive good fortune. - Lew Wallace

Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter. - Joseph Addison

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

Words must surely be counted among the most powerful drugs man ever invented. - Leo Rosten

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. - Stephen Leacock

An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. - Alfred A. Knopf

Most of the evils of life arise from man's inability to sit still in a room. - Blaise Pascal

The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart. - Benjamin Franklin

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

A man is selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting his neighbor's. - Richard Whately

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Roger Bannister

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

In Las Vegas, a man said to his wife, "Give me the money I told you not to give me." - Henny Youngman

The greatest honor that can come to a man is the appreciation and high regard of his fellow men. - H.G. Mendelson

Even a wise man knows doubt from time to time, it is the fool who allows it to rule his judgement. - Jennifer Hudock

Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer

We are all motivated by a keen desire for praise, and the better a man is, the more he is inspired to glory. - Cicero

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? - Bible

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense. - Joseph Addison

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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21-Oct-2019