Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
Man must be invented each day. - Jean-Paul Sartre

A man that is afraid is never a man. - Henry Ward Beecher

A rich man's joke is always funny. - Thomas Edward Brown

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

The worst men often give the best advice. - Francis Bacon

Expert: a man who makes his mistakes quietly. - Unknown

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses. - Dorothy Parker

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin

A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can. - Michel de Montaigne

A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

A man hath no better thing under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry. - Ecclesiastes 8:15

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than a healthy, wise old man. - Lin Yutang

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare

To be honest as this world goes is to be one man picked out of ten thousand. - William Shakespeare

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it. - Samuel Butler

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. - H L Mencken

At 20 a man thinks he can save the world. At 40 he's lucky if he can save part of his salary. - Unknown

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth - even if it costs him his job. - Samuel Goldwyn

A forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note, torn in two and burned up, so that it can never be shown against the man. - Henry Ward Beecher

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

The quality of a man's life is in direct proportion to his commitment to excellence, regardless of his chosen field of endeavor. - Vince Lombardi Jr.

You do not determine a man's greatness by his talent or wealth, as the world does, but rather by what it takes to discourage him. - Jerry Falwell

I've seen so many young men over the years who think they're running at other young men. They are not. They are running at me. - Markus Zusak

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? - Bible

Why should we honour those that die upon the field of battle? A man may show as reckless a courage in entering into the abyss of himself. - William Butler Yeats

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

A wise man knows when to stay silent. However, a wiser man of faith knows that sometimes words can win the battle when all odds stand against you. - Shannon L. Alder

Men are so simple of mind, and so much dominated by their immediate needs, that a deceitful man will always find plenty who are ready to be deceived. - Niccolo Machiavelli


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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22-Feb-2019