Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
A man must learn to forgive himself. - Arthur Davis Ficke

Give me a man who sings at his work. - Thomas Carlyle

No man can stand on top because he is put there. - H.H. Vreeland

Men are creatures with two legs and eight hands. - Jayne Mansfield

A man who lives long enough will be a boy twice. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Man has no nobler function than to defend the truth. - Mahalia Jackson

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. - Mark Twain

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of our science. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Adversity causes some men to break, others to break records. - William A. Ward

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

A man's manner to a certain extent indicates his character. - Samuel Smiles

The name of a man is a numbing blow from which he never recovers. - Marshall McLuhan

A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears. - Michel de Montaigne

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

For every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The tragedy of life is not what men suffer, but rather what they miss. - Thomas Carlyle

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Once a man has tasted freedom, he will never be content to be a slave. - Walt Disney

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

The man who has begun to live more seriously within begins to live more simply without. - Ernest Hemingway

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves. - WC Fields

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle

Will power is to the mind like a strong blind man who carries on his shoulders a lame man who can see. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Man has made many machines, complex and cunning, but which of them indeed rivals the workings of his heart? - Pablo Casals

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

I like the West. That's where men are men and women are women, and it's hard to beat a combination like that. - Milton Berle

Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure they think he is getting old. - Washington Irving

Everything that enlarges the sphere of human powers, that shows man he can do what he thought he could not do, is valuable. - Samuel Johnson

In the long run men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, though they should fail immediately, they had better aim at something high. - Henry David Thoreau


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Finger Phone

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Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Bear Expectations

Money Drop

Foot Race

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'Break In Motion' Brake

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

Redneck Coffee Pot

Speed Limit Warning

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Why Neanderthals Became Extinct

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Bacon Sandwich

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24-Sep-2018