Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
No Sane man will dance. - Cicero

Man thinks and God laughs. - Yiddish Proverb

What a piece of work is man! - William Shakespeare

Beware the man of a single book. - Bertrand Russell

Two monsoons are the age of a man. - Bombay Proverb

He was a wise man who invented God. - Plato

Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

A man is known by the company he avoids. - Unknown

Truth is the highest thing that man may keep. - Chaucer

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

A wise man will live as much within his wit as his income. - Philip Dormer Stanhope

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

Poetry is the statement of a relation between a man and the world. - Wallace Stevens

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

A man is never so on trial as in the moment of excessive good fortune. - Lew Wallace

A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits. - Richard M Nixon

A contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world. - Joseph Addison

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives. - Abba Eban

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

No man can be called friendless when he has God and the companionship of good books. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. - Samuel Johnson

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world. - George Santayana

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. - H L Mencken

You can tell a man isn't handy when he asks the man next door how to get blood off a saw. - Milton Berle

Wandering re-establishes the original harmony which once existed between man and the universe. - Anatole France

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. - George Eliot

All things will be clear and distinct to the man who does not hurry; haste is blind and improvident. - Livy

In this age, the man who dares to think for himself and to act independently does a service to his race. - John Stuart Mill

It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it. - Upton Sinclair

Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. - Niccolo Machiavelli

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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14-Dec-2017