January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels... “duh”... bottles won’t fit in a typewriter.
March - Got excited... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... box said “2-4 years!”
April - Trapped on escalator for hours... power went out.
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid... 8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets.
June - Tried to go water skiing... couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast-stroke swimming competition... learned later, other swimmers cheated - they used their arms.
August - Got locked out of car in rainstorm... car swamped, because top was
down.
September - Lost a TV quiz show. The capital of California is “C”... isn’t it?
October - Hate M&M’s... they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108.
December - Couldn’t call 911... “duh”... there’s no
“eleven” button on the phone.
see also
Blonde, Calendar & New Years Sections
 I Can Still Kiss You |
 Church Dinner |
 59 Chev Boat |
 Urgent World War I Message |
 An Iceberg Floated Into Town |
 Walk Sign Timing |
 Family Hands |
 Chocolate Bed |
 Crocodile Floor |
 Texas 911 |
 Walk Sign Ending |
 Mower Handle Extender |
 Dentist Waiting Room |
 Ice Bell |
 Reptile Ride |
 Morning Inspiration |
 Fatal Text Message |
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