January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels... “duh”... bottles won’t fit in a typewriter.
March - Got excited... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... box said “2-4 years!”
April - Trapped on escalator for hours... power went out.
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid... 8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets.
June - Tried to go water skiing... couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast-stroke swimming competition... learned later, other swimmers cheated - they used their arms.
August - Got locked out of car in rainstorm... car swamped, because top was
September - Lost a TV quiz show. The capital of California is “C”... isn’t it?
October - Hate M&M’s... they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108.
December - Couldn’t call 911... “duh”... there’s no
“eleven” button on the phone.
Blonde, Calendar & New Years Sections
Guaranteed Women Attraction
Spring Is In The Air
Safe Seat Belt
Keyboard Running Shoes
Ten Miles Gallery
30th 'Pearl' Wedding Anniversary of Trudy and Joe Defries
Who Lost The Keys?
Great White Socks
Master Chef Eggspert
Welcome To Texas
Which Way To Go?