Early Christmas School Break

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffet

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt