Engineer’s Christmas Spec Plans   (pdf file)

What happens when you let an Engineer design Christmas


Engineers gone mad!
Asbestos Free Flocking for the Christmas tree
Christmas lights not to exceed one candle power
Christmas tree 'Dripline' and Limits of Present Placement
Compliancy Standards for trees over 6'-0"
Duct Tape needs a professional elf's approval
Flame Retardant sprayed on the Christmas tree with scented pine aerosol
Limits of Santa's landing strip on the chimney
Load Bearing Christmas tree stand
Presents wrapped in semi-gloss festive paper with adhesive clear strips
Roof Live Loads - capable of supporting reindeer, loaded sleigh & an overweight man
Roof Top holiday compliancy plans
Runaway sleigh containment barrier - made from high strength bungee material
Seismic Studies to ensure tree is placed in a geologically secure area
Tree angel attached with H7 braces
Wheelchair access to the fireplace

When an Engineer designs Christmas

QuotaBills
Engineering with fabric. - Jean Muir

Luck is the residue of design. - Branch Rickey

Spring is the time of plans and projects. - Leo Tolstoy

The engineering is secondary to the vision. - Cynthia Ozick

Architecture begins where engineering ends. - Walter Gropius

I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray. - Seymoure Cray

The writer is the engineer of the human soul. - Joseph Stalin

Plans are worthless, but planning is everything. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans. - Yiddish Proverb

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving. - Lao-tzu

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work. - Peter F Drucker

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment. - Horace

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The past exists only in our memories,
The future only in our plans.
The present is our only reality. - Robert Pirsig

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. - Seneca

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal. - Napoleon Hill

They submitted bills, and we paid them. Then we checked the engineering reports and found out that we had paid them far more than we owed them. - Donald Trump

Don't lie. Life is a puzzle and we are all unique pieces. When you lie, you make it impossible to find your true place in the grand design. - Steve Maraboli

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

Whenever you are embarrassed, just remember that in 1999 NASA destroyed a $655 Million project because the engineers mistook kilograms and pounds. - Unknown


Christmas  in an  Engineering  company

 

Water Taxi

Wrench Family

How To Burn Fat

Ghetto Boat

Car Surgeon

Just Blew It

His Dent

Cheat of the Year

Divorce Defined

Paint Ladder

Peopledarin

Frozen Pipes in the Garage

Attentive Student

Corgi Snow Height

FishSun - Touching The Sun

SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Bach To Front

Slamming On Your Brakes

Trampoline Apartment

Radar Replacement
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22-Feb-2019