Vampire Snowman

Ever crossed a snowman with a vampire?


Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?
A: Silent Night.

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes.

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.

Q: What is in December that isn’t in any other month?
A: The letter “D”.

Q: Why are the Christmas alphabet and ordinary alphabet different?
A: The Christmas alphabet has No L (Noel).

Q: Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it “soots” him.

Q: Why is getting Christmas presents for your kids just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Q: Why wasn’t the turkey hungry at Christmas time?
A: He was stuffed.


QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple


see also   Christmas  Section

 

Non-Hot Dog

Hot Pipe Car

Cement Mixer Boats

Sprained Ankle Footwear

The Explanation

Cat Cookie

Sudoku Sampler A

Disabled Help

Horse Back Riding

Noise Cancelling Toilet

Car Stereo Without The Car

Organ Transplant

Cat Abs

Watch Out

Roughrider Cheerleaders
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19-Aug-2017