Vampire Snowman

Ever crossed a snowman with a vampire?


Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?
A: Silent Night.

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes.

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.

Q: What is in December that isn’t in any other month?
A: The letter “D”.

Q: Why are the Christmas alphabet and ordinary alphabet different?
A: The Christmas alphabet has No L (Noel).

Q: Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it “soots” him.

Q: Why is getting Christmas presents for your kids just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Q: Why wasn’t the turkey hungry at Christmas time?
A: He was stuffed.


QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple


see also   Christmas  Section

 

Duck Down

SAMcakes

Window View

Very Left Turn Driver

Facebook Fridge

NFL Military

Aussie Selfie

Sports Car Delivery in Texas

Travel Mints

Nuts

Lego Haircut

Luxury Wheel Chair

Mega Samurai Puzzles B

The Importance Of Education

Market Birds - a Poultry Sum
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17-Oct-2017