Christmas Baby

Sleeping on the job!

Early dreams of Santa - Santa’s presence present



Santa's Christmas Baby

Looks like Santa delivered more than presents this year!

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Burn rubber, not your soul, baby. - Craig Fernandez

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. - David Letterman

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Institutions that once had to go through media to deliver information are now themselves media. - Andrew Nachison

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


see also   Baby  &  Christmas  Sections

 

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14-Aug-2018