Christmas Baby

Sleeping on the job!

Early dreams of Santa - Santa’s presence present



Santa's Christmas Baby

Looks like Santa delivered more than presents this year!

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. - David Letterman

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


see also   Baby  &  Christmas  Sections

 

Bridge Uplift

Shark Steaks

Hippy Birthday

Heineken Meets Star Wars

Head Butt

Just Like Grandpa

High Heel Diver

Leading Edge Climber

Garden Gnome Soccer

Florence Time

Bird Trio

Chess Sudoku Puzzles C

I Want My Own Room

Fish Flops

Lip Gloss

Beer Pong

Canadian High Five

Kodak Moment

Third Fiddle

Clown Down
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21-Jun-2018