Christmas Kittens

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

In her elastic stockings, next to her very close veins. - Archie Bunker

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen