![]() You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown In her elastic stockings, next to her very close veins. - Archie Bunker Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam, May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright When witches go riding and black cats are seen, The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen see also Christmas & Kitten Sections Cat Ornament Christmas Cat Christmas Light Cat Santa Cat |
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