Santa’s Email

Santa calls on many hands to answer his fan e-mail



Answering Santa's Email

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

The internet turns 30 minutes of homework into 2 hours of homework. - Unknown

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco


see also   Christmas  &  Computer  Sections

 

Irish Diplomacy

Flat-Earthers

Christmas Thrones

Salmon Street

Snow Bikes

Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Make It Work

We Witch You a Merry Solstice

Interuption Charge

Paid Off Student Loan

Mega Samurai Puzzles A

Cat Conversion

Sweet Chopper

Gun Exhaust

It's All Mine

Harley Medicine

Hiker Boot Camp

Trumptation

Santa Stop Lights

Small Speed Bumps
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17-Dec-2017