Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

Politicians can't manage. All they can do is talk. - Donald Trump

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

Needless to say, the president is correct. Whatever it was he said. - Donald Rumsfeld

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation. - Henry Kissinger

Frankly, I don't mind not being President. I just mind that someone else is. - Edward Kennedy

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

The reason I'm running for President is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen. - Barack Obama

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

I may not have been the greatest president, but I've had the most fun eight years. - Bill Clinton

The royal road to a man's heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most. - Dale Carnegie

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. - Adlai Stevenson

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. The difference between Bill Clinton and myself is that he has a walk-in closet. - Pat Buchanan

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. - Gore Vidal

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. - George Eliot

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

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18-Jan-2019