Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

When I'm president, everyone gets a free pony. - Vermin Supreme

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

In my country we go to prison first and then become president. - Nelson Mandela

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. - George Stephanopolous

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

Every man who wants to be President is either an egomaniac or crazy. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

Hillary Clinton is not going to be able to create jobs, I will tell you right now. - Donald Trump

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. - Adlai Stevenson

People want change but not too much change. Finding that balance is tricky for every politician. - Eleanor Clift

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. - Milton Berle

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Being President is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but stand there and take it. - Lyndon Johnson

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. - José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. - Johnny Carson

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. The difference between Bill Clinton and myself is that he has a walk-in closet. - Pat Buchanan

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

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Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
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Happy Scary Halloween
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Hillary Hairstyle
Redneck Politician
Vote For Me

 

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Maybe Shame Will Stop Her

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23-Jun-2018