Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. - Edward Langley

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

When the President does it, that means that it's not illegal. - Richard M Nixon

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Tex Guinan

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

The President is going to lead us out of this recovery. It will happen. - Dan Quayle

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

A good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H L Mencken

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive or a politician. - Marty Feldman

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. - Pericles (430 B.C.)

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. - Johnny Carson

What politicians want to create is irreversible change because when you leave office someone changes it back again. - Estelle Morris

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. - George Eliot

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

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Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
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Happy Scary Halloween
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16-Dec-2017