Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

There is no gambling like politics. - Benjamin Disraeli

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

As our President said in his renegurial address. - Archie Bunker

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

Politicians can't manage. All they can do is talk. - Donald Trump

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. - Edward Langley

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

I may not have been the greatest president, but I've had the most fun eight years. - Bill Clinton

In America the President reigns for four years and journalism governs forever and ever. - Oscar Wilde

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

The royal road to a man's heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most. - Dale Carnegie

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. - José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

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22-Aug-2019