Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
We need a great president. - Donald Trump

Politics is an inexact science. - Otto von Bismarck

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. - Edward Langley

I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created. - Donald Trump

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. - George Stephanopolous

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote. - William E. Simon

No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

Ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism. - Bill Moyers

In America the President reigns for four years and journalism governs forever and ever. - Oscar Wilde

No president who performs his duties faithfully and conscientiously can have any leisure. - James K Polk

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. - Pericles (430 B.C.)

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

Hillary Clinton was the worst Secretary of State in the history of the country. The world came apart under her reign as Secretary of State. - Donald Trump

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
Hillarius Trump
Hillary Hairstyle
Redneck Politician
Vote For Me

 

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19-Mar-2019