Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

As our President said in his renegurial address. - Archie Bunker

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

The President is going to lead us out of this recovery. It will happen. - Dan Quayle

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

Hillary Clinton is not going to be able to create jobs, I will tell you right now. - Donald Trump

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

The reason I'm running for President is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen. - Barack Obama

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. - Milton Berle

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

To be President of the United States, sir, is to act as advocate for a blind, venomous, and ungrateful client. - John Updike

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive or a politician. - Marty Feldman

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. - Pericles (430 B.C.)

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
Hillarius Trump
Hillary Hairstyle
Redneck Politician
Vote For Me

 

Latino Laptop

Italian Fire Exit

Sockeye Salmon

Hairstyle Of The Year

Smart Phone Statue

Chess Sudoku Puzzles

Cat Stalker

Desert Road Bumps

Fire Truck Parts

Newfie Parking

Demo House For Sale

Smoke Coolant

Job Retraining

Edible Serving Glasses

Just Checking

Is This What You Think I Look Like?

Pirate X-ray

Moving Day in Texas

Australia 101 For Tourists

Rich Kid On The Block
Submissions by Kirk LowryFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

27-Apr-2017