Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

Politicians can't manage. All they can do is talk. - Donald Trump

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

When the President does it, that means that it's not illegal. - Richard M Nixon

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Tex Guinan

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation. - Henry Kissinger

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. - P.J. O'Rourke

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

The reason I'm running for President is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen. - Barack Obama

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians,
and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. - Groucho Marx

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. - Gore Vidal

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. - George Eliot

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

I have respect for Senator McCain. I used to like him a lot. I supported him. I raised a lot of money for his campaign against President Obama. - Donald Trump

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
Hillarius Trump
Hillary Hairstyle
Redneck Politician
Vote For Me

 

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25-May-2019