Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady

[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”

All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

As our President said in his renegurial address. - Archie Bunker

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created. - Donald Trump

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Tex Guinan

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

People want change but not too much change. Finding that balance is tricky for every politician. - Eleanor Clift

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Get thee glass eyes;
And, like a scurvy politician, seem
To see the things thou dost not. - William Shakespeare

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians,
and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. - Groucho Marx

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Hillary Clinton was the worst Secretary of State in the history of the country. The world came apart under her reign as Secretary of State. - Donald Trump

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock

see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

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