Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
We need a great president. - Donald Trump

How can a President not be an actor? - Ronald Reagan

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

When I'm president, everyone gets a free pony. - Vermin Supreme

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. - Martin L. Gross

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Tex Guinan

The President is going to lead us out of this recovery. It will happen. - Dan Quayle

The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face. - Clare Boothe Luce

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. - P.J. O'Rourke

Frankly, I don't mind not being President. I just mind that someone else is. - Edward Kennedy

Hillary Clinton is not going to be able to create jobs, I will tell you right now. - Donald Trump

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. - José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians,
and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. - Groucho Marx

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. The difference between Bill Clinton and myself is that he has a walk-in closet. - Pat Buchanan

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. - Gore Vidal

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

I have respect for Senator McCain. I used to like him a lot. I supported him. I raised a lot of money for his campaign against President Obama. - Donald Trump


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
Hillarius Trump
Hillary Hairstyle
Redneck Politician
Vote For Me

 

Behind Curtain Number One

One More Drop

Changing Priorities

Made His Bed

Dog Sled

Only In Canada - Nosey Moose

Camper Tank

Plane Pushers

Wise Electricity Use

Critter Control

Redneck Ice Fishing

Skeletons In The Closet

Captive Audience Twins

Brew Table

Nailed It Baby

Water Supply

Holding His Own Portraits

Hawaii Scuba Bus

Chicken Pie

Computer Challenged
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

22-Oct-2019