Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. - Edward Langley

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race. - Mark Twain

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. - Adlai Stevenson

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation. - Henry Kissinger

The reason I'm running for President is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen. - Barack Obama

The royal road to a man's heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most. - Dale Carnegie

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. - Milton Berle

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

Calculating how much carbon is absorbed by which forests and farms is a tricky task, especially when politicians do it. - Donella Meadows

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

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19-Oct-2017