Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
We need a great president. - Donald Trump

Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

Under every stone lurks a politician. - Aristophanes

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. - Edward Langley

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

Ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism. - Bill Moyers

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. - Milton Berle

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

Calculating how much carbon is absorbed by which forests and farms is a tricky task, especially when politicians do it. - Donella Meadows

Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it. - Unknown

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. - George Eliot

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

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23-Jun-2017