Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

As our President said in his renegurial address. - Archie Bunker

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant. - Charles de Gaulle

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

The President is going to lead us out of this recovery. It will happen. - Dan Quayle

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote. - William E. Simon

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation. - Henry Kissinger

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. - Gore Vidal

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. The difference between Bill Clinton and myself is that he has a walk-in closet. - Pat Buchanan

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. - George Eliot

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher

I have respect for Senator McCain. I used to like him a lot. I supported him. I raised a lot of money for his campaign against President Obama. - Donald Trump

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

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22-Mar-2017