Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
There is no royal road to geometry. - Euclid

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Every country has the government it deserves. - Joseph de Maistre

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. - Edward Langley

In my country we go to prison first and then become president. - Nelson Mandela

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant. - Charles de Gaulle

Needless to say, the president is correct. Whatever it was he said. - Donald Rumsfeld

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

A goose flies by a chart the Royal Geographical Society could not improve. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Frankly, I don't mind not being President. I just mind that someone else is. - Edward Kennedy

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. - Adlai Stevenson

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. - Milton Berle

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive or a politician. - Marty Feldman

Did you hear about the auto worker who was offered a position as president of a bank but couldn't afford the pay cut? - Unknown

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
Hillarius Trump
Hillary Hairstyle
Redneck Politician
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20-Oct-2018