A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn’t.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Humor is something that thrives between man’s aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
I don’t mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only things I’ve saved all year.
I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
I only know two pieces: one is “Clair de Lune” and the other one isn’t.
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible... and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that’s my reward.
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
The essence of a general’s job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose, to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.
You want something by Bach? Which one - Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
see also
Christmas, Language & Quote Sections
 Forgettable Fishing Trips |
 Arab Barking Lot |
 Mahmoud Plumbing |
 Suitcase Recycling |
 Group Photo |
 Drying Bats |
 Laughter Management |
 Muffler Hanger |
 Cadillac Bike |
 Instant Karma |
 Green Picnic Table |
 Father Sayings for Father's Day |
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