Bring Me A Real Team, Santa

Something that Santa can’t deliver



Bring Me A Real Cleveland Football Team Santa

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


see also   Christmas,  Football,  Sign  &  Stress  Sections
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19-Apr-2019