Christmas Thrones

Getting the low-down on Santa’s daily duties







QuotaBills
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Unknown

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon


see also   Bathroom  &  Christmas  Sections
Bird Stocking
Christmas Balls
Christmas Budget
Christmas Dinner Made Easy
Christmas Fireplace Tip
Christmas Hedgehog
Christmas Light Installation
Christmas Pencil Sharpener
Christmas Possessions To Enter Heaven
Firefighter Decorations
Forget The Present
Gingerbread Star Wars Walker
Heathen’s Greetings
Jingle Cats’ White Christmas
Merry House
Office Party Grinch
Recession Christmas Tree
Redneck Christmas Sleigh
Santa Elephant
Santa For Kids
Santa Stop Lights
Santa’s Last Stop For Mexican Food
Santa’s Scooter Sleigh
Saskatchewan Entrepreneur
Save Santa The Trip
Signs of Christmas Everywhere
Texas Hood Ornament
Three Wise Men
Three Wise Women

 

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19-Jul-2018