Congressional Motors 2012 Car

Announcing the all-new 2012 Pelosi GTxi



Congressional Motors Car

It’s in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You’re a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It’s that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors (CM).

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodiesel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizzazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again - with a vengeance.

We’ve subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you’ll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that’s a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn’t skimp on safety. With 11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you’ll have the security knowing that you could survive a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal speed.

But the changes don’t stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM’s Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes - even in the choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet.

Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard. Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features thoughtful appointments like an in-dash condom dispenser. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you’ll never miss a segment of National Public Radio (NPR) again.

Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit’s famous visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don’t own one, you can enjoy the patriotic satisfaction that you’re supporting the high wages, good benefits, and generous political donations that are once again making the American car industry the envy of the world.

But why not buy one anyway? With an Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price (MSRP) starting at only $629,999.99, it’s affordable too. Don’t forget to ask about dealer incentives, rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay financing programs from Fannie Mae.

So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by President Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you’d choose it over the import brands.
Even if they were still legal.

QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

Politics makes strange red-fellows. - Will Rogers

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means. - Zhou Enlai

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power. - Aldous Huxley

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. - Pericles (430 B.C.)

I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero. - George Carlin

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey


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17-Aug-2018