Congressional Motors 2012 Car

Announcing the all-new 2012 Pelosi GTxi



Congressional Motors Car

It’s in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You’re a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It’s that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors (CM).

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodiesel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizzazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again - with a vengeance.

We’ve subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you’ll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that’s a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn’t skimp on safety. With 11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you’ll have the security knowing that you could survive a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal speed.

But the changes don’t stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM’s Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes - even in the choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet.

Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard. Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features thoughtful appointments like an in-dash condom dispenser. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you’ll never miss a segment of National Public Radio (NPR) again.

Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit’s famous visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don’t own one, you can enjoy the patriotic satisfaction that you’re supporting the high wages, good benefits, and generous political donations that are once again making the American car industry the envy of the world.

But why not buy one anyway? With an Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price (MSRP) starting at only $629,999.99, it’s affordable too. Don’t forget to ask about dealer incentives, rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay financing programs from Fannie Mae.

So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by President Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you’d choose it over the import brands.
Even if they were still legal.

QuotaBills
Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

Diplomacy is to do and say the nastiest thing in the nicest way. - Isaac Goldberg

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - Caskie Stinnett

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. - Theodor Adorno

If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Milton Friedman

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers


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16-Jul-2019