Congressional Motors 2012 Car

Announcing the all-new 2012 Pelosi GTxi



Congressional Motors Car

It’s in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You’re a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It’s that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors (CM).

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodiesel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizzazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again - with a vengeance.

We’ve subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you’ll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that’s a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn’t skimp on safety. With 11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you’ll have the security knowing that you could survive a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal speed.

But the changes don’t stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM’s Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes - even in the choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet.

Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard. Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features thoughtful appointments like an in-dash condom dispenser. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you’ll never miss a segment of National Public Radio (NPR) again.

Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit’s famous visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don’t own one, you can enjoy the patriotic satisfaction that you’re supporting the high wages, good benefits, and generous political donations that are once again making the American car industry the envy of the world.

But why not buy one anyway? With an Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price (MSRP) starting at only $629,999.99, it’s affordable too. Don’t forget to ask about dealer incentives, rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay financing programs from Fannie Mae.

So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by President Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you’d choose it over the import brands.
Even if they were still legal.

QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means. - Zhou Enlai

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

I do have a political agenda. It's to have as few regulations as possible. - Dan Quayle

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

Every country must be absolutely free to adopt the type of economic, political and social system that it considers convenient. - Fidel Castro

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


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18-Sep-2019