Congressional Motors 2012 Car
Congressional Motors announces the all-new 2012 Pelosi GTxi
It's in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your
unemployment check.
You're a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special
odd-numbered Saturdays when
driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It's that special feeling of a
zero-emissions wind at your back
and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get
behind the wheel of the
Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors (CM).
All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American
car so advanced it took
$100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable
7-way hybrid
ethanol-biodiesel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the
base model Pelosi,
but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizzazz that tells the
world that
1974 Detroit is back again - with a vengeance.
We've subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its
advanced Al Gore-designed V-3
under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit
muscle, you'll never be late
for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the
optional jumbo mizzenmast,
and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At
an estimated 268 MPG,
that's a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.
Even with increased performance we didn't skimp on safety. With 11-point
passenger racing harnesses,
15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you'll have the security knowing
that you could survive
a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal
speed.
But the changes don't stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new
aggressive wedge shape designed by
CM's Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending
bill. It even features an airtight
undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes - even in the
choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet.
Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado
to French Mustard.
Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features
thoughtful appointments like an in-dash
condom dispenser. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum
cans, meaning fewer trips to the
redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band
sound system means you'll never
miss a segment of National Public Radio (NPR) again.
Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by fully
card-checked unionized workers and
Detroit 's famous visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don't own one, you can
enjoy the patriotic satisfaction
that you're supporting the high wages, good benefits, and generous political
donations that are once again
making the American car industry the envy of the world.
But why not buy one anyway? With an Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price (MSRP)
starting at only $629,999.99,
it's affordable too. Don't forget to ask about dealer incentives, rebates, tax
credits, and wealth redistribution plans for
customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay
financing programs from Fannie Mae.
So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the Pelosi GTxi
SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car
endorsed by President Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you'd
choose it over the import brands.
Even if they were still legal.