Congressional Motors 2012 Car

Announcing the all-new 2012 Pelosi GTxi



Congressional Motors Car

It’s in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You’re a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It’s that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors (CM).

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodiesel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizzazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again - with a vengeance.

We’ve subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you’ll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that’s a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn’t skimp on safety. With 11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you’ll have the security knowing that you could survive a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal speed.

But the changes don’t stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM’s Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes - even in the choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet.

Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard. Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features thoughtful appointments like an in-dash condom dispenser. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you’ll never miss a segment of National Public Radio (NPR) again.

Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit’s famous visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don’t own one, you can enjoy the patriotic satisfaction that you’re supporting the high wages, good benefits, and generous political donations that are once again making the American car industry the envy of the world.

But why not buy one anyway? With an Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price (MSRP) starting at only $629,999.99, it’s affordable too. Don’t forget to ask about dealer incentives, rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay financing programs from Fannie Mae.

So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by President Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you’d choose it over the import brands.
Even if they were still legal.

QuotaBills
Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means. - Zhou Enlai

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

I don't go around signin' no political documentaries. - Archie Bunker

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. - Theodor Adorno

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill


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23-Feb-2018