Congressional Motors 2012 Car

Announcing the all-new 2012 Pelosi GTxi



Congressional Motors Car

It’s in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You’re a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It’s that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors (CM).

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodiesel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizzazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again - with a vengeance.

We’ve subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you’ll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that’s a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn’t skimp on safety. With 11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you’ll have the security knowing that you could survive a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal speed.

But the changes don’t stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM’s Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes - even in the choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet.

Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard. Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features thoughtful appointments like an in-dash condom dispenser. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you’ll never miss a segment of National Public Radio (NPR) again.

Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit’s famous visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don’t own one, you can enjoy the patriotic satisfaction that you’re supporting the high wages, good benefits, and generous political donations that are once again making the American car industry the envy of the world.

But why not buy one anyway? With an Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price (MSRP) starting at only $629,999.99, it’s affordable too. Don’t forget to ask about dealer incentives, rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay financing programs from Fannie Mae.

So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by President Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you’d choose it over the import brands.
Even if they were still legal.

QuotaBills
A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means. - Zhou Enlai

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Idealism is like a castle in the air if it is not based on a solid foundation of social and political realism. - Claude McKay

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. - Theodor Adorno

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

Every country must be absolutely free to adopt the type of economic, political and social system that it considers convenient. - Fidel Castro

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle


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23-Oct-2018