Congressional Motors 2012 Car

Announcing the all-new 2012 Pelosi GTxi



Congressional Motors Car

It’s in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You’re a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It’s that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors (CM).

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodiesel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizzazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again - with a vengeance.

We’ve subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you’ll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that’s a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn’t skimp on safety. With 11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you’ll have the security knowing that you could survive a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal speed.

But the changes don’t stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM’s Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes - even in the choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet.

Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard. Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features thoughtful appointments like an in-dash condom dispenser. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you’ll never miss a segment of National Public Radio (NPR) again.

Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit’s famous visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don’t own one, you can enjoy the patriotic satisfaction that you’re supporting the high wages, good benefits, and generous political donations that are once again making the American car industry the envy of the world.

But why not buy one anyway? With an Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price (MSRP) starting at only $629,999.99, it’s affordable too. Don’t forget to ask about dealer incentives, rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay financing programs from Fannie Mae.

So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by President Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you’d choose it over the import brands.
Even if they were still legal.

QuotaBills
Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

All government, of course, is against liberty. - H L Mencken

Government is an endless pursuit of new ways to tax. - Unknown

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. - Will Rogers

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski

My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. - Woody Allen

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - Caskie Stinnett

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill


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22-Apr-2019