Maple Leaf Coalition

Toronto Maple Leafs Win Stanley Cup!



Canada was stunned Monday when it was announced that The Stanley Cup will be awarded to the Toronto Maple Leafs, possibly as early as December 6th. The cup will be stripped from 2008 playoff champions (Detroit Red Wings) and be awarded to the Leafs, who didn’t even make the playoffs.
How is this possible, Canadians ask?
Well, the Leafs have formed a coalition with the eastern conference semifinalists (Montreal Canadians), and conference quarter finalists (Ottawa Senators), now outnumbering the Red Wings. According to current Leaf coach Ron Wilson, “the Red Wings have lost the confidence of the league and should hand the cup over immediately to our coalition.”

NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is cutting short a European trip to try to resolve the unprecedented hockey crisis that could force a second playoff series, or see an opposing team coalition take the cup.
Prorogue, you say?


This guy pretends to lead Coalition “A” (as in “eh”, eh!)


Ah, but this Maple Leaf coalition is not led by pro rogues at all - Coalition “B” is led by Big “B” - the only guy who’s a winner in the east & west!


QuotaBills
Canada is hockey. - Mike Weir

Hockey is a tough game. - Bobby Orr

Every day is a great day for hockey. - Mario Lemieux

Hockey is the original extreme sport. - Tom Ward

Outdoor hockey is what it is all about. - Paul Coffey

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli

People on the streets are ready for hockey. - Eric Lindros

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

Figure skaters have awful perceptions of hockey players. - Kristi Yamaguchi

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky

Hockey seems completely lawless and, therefore, inexplicably sexy. - Rachel Nichols

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

The greatest hockey player who ever lived: Bobby Orr, and I love him. - Donald S. Cherry

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

I love hockey because of the respect for history and for the game itself. - George Vecsey

People know me from a hockey game, from an earthquake, from the O.J case. - Al Michaels

Sometimes it just feels like the only thing you do is play hockey and eat. - Henrik Lundqvist

My goal was to play in the NHL, because that is the best hockey in the world. - Jaromir Jagr

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

When you think of hockey, when you think of Canada, you think of Wayne Gretzky. - Joe Sakic

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in the first place. - Ryan Reynolds

I never looked at hockey as work. Now that I'd finished playing, I had to go to work. - Bobby Orr

Our team lives hockey, it dreams hockey, it eats hockey. Now if it could only play hockey. - Milton Berle

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

I think the thing you always got to keep in mind, you know, hockey is a game of one-on-one battles. - Mark Messier

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

When I walk down the street in New York, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, "Hey, you hockey puck!" - Don Rickles

Playoff hockey is the best way to market your team. It's the best way to grow your fan base and give hope to your players and for them to develop. - Steve Yzerman


see also   Ice Hockey  Section
Canucks Sign Iraqi Center
Canucks Team Photo (2008)
eBay Bid
Free Beer
Hamilton NHL Team
Hockey Players Are Mean
Leaf Blower for Sale
Maple Leafs’ Playoff Plans
Toronto Maple Leafs’ New Building
Toronto Maple Leafs - No Cup For You!
Wife’s Nightie
Zamboni Fodder

 

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21-Sep-2019