iGifts

Technology can get you in trouble



It all began with an iPhone. March was when my son
celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone.
He just loved it. Who wouldn’t?


I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me
very happy when she bought me an iPad.


My daughter’s birthday was in August so
I got her an iPod Touch.


September came by, so for her birthday i got my wife an iRon.
iGifts iRon - technology can get you in trouble

It was around then that the fight started. What the wife
failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into
the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.
(Warning: this inevitably activates the iNag reminder service)

I hope to be out of the hospital by Christmas...


QuotaBills
Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Praise is the only gift for which people are really grateful. - Marguerite

I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am. - Paula Abdul

Do not be afraid; our fate Cannot be taken from us; it is a gift. - Dante Alighieri

A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown

She's loaded with this, waddya call, women's intermission. - Archie Bunker

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself. - Mae West

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say no in any of them. - Dorothy Parker

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

It is one thing to be gifted and quite another thing to be worthy of one's own gift. - Nadia Boulanger

The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge. - Albert Einstein

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. - Leo Buscaglia

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt


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21-Jul-2019