iGifts

Technology can get you in trouble



It all began with an iPhone. March was when my son
celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone.
He just loved it. Who wouldn’t?


I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me
very happy when she bought me an iPad.


My daughter’s birthday was in August so
I got her an iPod Touch.


September came by, so for her birthday i got my wife an iRon.
iGifts iRon - technology can get you in trouble

It was around then that the fight started. What the wife
failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into
the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.
(Warning: this inevitably activates the iNag reminder service)

I hope to be out of the hospital by Christmas...


QuotaBills
What is bought is cheaper than a gift. - Portuguese Proverb

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

It is one thing to be gifted and quite another thing to be worthy of one's own gift. - Nadia Boulanger

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


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26-May-2019