Redneck Christmas Tree Transport

Boris wants to borrow Bubba’s Christmas tree stand

A Ukraine Christmas starts with all the toppings



Redneck Christmas Tree Transport

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


see also   Car,  Christmas,  Dubm  &  Redneck  Sections
Angel On Top Of Christmas Tree
Blonde Christmas Tree
Canadian Christmas Tree, eh!
Candle-lit Christmas Tree
Christmas Ball Tree
Christmas Pencil Sharpener
Christmas Tree Relief
Christmas Tree Top Pain
Christmas Tree Wheel
Designer Tree
Fits Perfectly
Griswold Christmas Tree
Handyman's Christmas Tree
Light Christmas Tree
Newfie Christmas Tree
Redneck Antler Tree
Redneck Christmas Tree
Water For A Dry Christmas Tree
Zoo Christmas Tree

 

Why We're Always Out of TP

Israeli TSA

Guitar Boat

Finger Phone

In-flight Refuelling

Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Bear Expectations

Money Drop

Foot Race

Statue Selfie

'Break In Motion' Brake

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

Redneck Coffee Pot

Speed Limit Warning

Camouflage Helicopter

Why Neanderthals Became Extinct

Elephant Hand

Unhappy Baby

Ambulance Caddy

Bacon Sandwich
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

25-Sep-2018