Simon’s Gas

When Simon’s Car needs Simon’s Cat’s Advice





QuotaBills
You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death. - Unknown

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one. - Mother Teresa

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it. - Ogden Nash

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


see also   Art,  Car,  Cat  &  Illusion  Sections

 

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20-Jan-2018