Simon’s Gas

When Simon’s Car needs Simon’s Cat’s Advice





QuotaBills
You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one. - Mother Teresa

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Negative thoughts are like weeds in your garden and positive thoughts are the seeds of your garden, kill the weeds and feed the seeds. - Sukhi Burgen

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


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25-Apr-2018