Sleigh Broke Down

Signs of recession at the North Pole

Santa finds alternative way back home



Santa Sleigh Broke Down

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Budget: a way of going broke methodically. - Groucho Marx

That's the thing that broke the straw. - Archie Bunker

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

That's the straw that broke the camel's neck. - Archie Bunker

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. - H L Mencken

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. - Mark Twain

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. - P.T. Barnum

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture. - Robin Williams

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I've never been poor, only broke. Being poor is a frame of mind. Being broke is only a temporary situation. - Mike Todd

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light; you'll go broke. - Chuck Jones


see also   Christmas,  Finance  &  Stress  Sections

 

Vintage Campers

Cliff Side Camping

Tree Removal

Blake Lively

Cheers!

Da Vinci Code Revealed

What An Earfull

Fowl Play

Squirrel Feeder Trap

Inside Out Cat

Summer Speeding Ticket

Property Boundary

Fireman Mouth

Somalia Pirate Souvenir

Jigsaw Sudoku Puzzles

Kick Out Boxing

Sorry Tree

Air Meal

Jet Ski Transport

Sock Anatomy
Submissions by Idske Mulder, The NetherlandsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

26-May-2017