Crash Landing Survivors

Surviving against all odds

Procrastination pays off on uncharted islands



Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation
to celebrate their 50th anniversary.
Airplane crash landing survivors

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m afraid I have some very bad news...
Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency
landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be
able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be
rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!”


Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, “Esther, did we pay our
VISA and MasterCard bills yet?”


“No, sweetheart,” she responds.
Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks,
“Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?”
“Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check,” she says.


“One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send the estimate check
to the IRS this quarter?” he asks.
“Oh, forgive me, Abe,” begged Esther. “I didn’t send that one, either.”


Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.
Esther pulls away and asks him, “What was that for?”


Abe answers, “They’ll find us!”


QuotaBills
Owning a drone does not a pilot make. - Alex Morritt

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly. - Unknown

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

As the velocity of air increases, its pressure decreases. - Daniel Bernoulli

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Matt would be fantastic for New York if the Jets were lucky enough to get him. - Donald Trump

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it. - J.M. Barrie

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?" - Robin Williams

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know so it goes flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. - Joel Hawes

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


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25-May-2019