Texas Holiday Lights

What a blast!

Bubba lights up his Christmas tree with jingle bells and shotgun shells



Texas Christmas Holiday Lights

Soon be discontinued on the Duck Dynasty Christmas Wish List

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze


see also   Christmas  &  Redneck  Sections
Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas
Benini Ranch Sculpture
BIG Texas Rattlesnake
ChristMoose Tree
Crash Course in Texas Weather
Giant Texas Red Centipede
Jim’s Happy Hour
Motion Detector Camera Night Activity
Moving Day in Texas
Only In Texas
Redneck Tree Chair
Room Service in a Texas Hotel
Sports Car Delivery in Texas
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Tactical Texas
Texas 4 Months Apart
Texas 911
Texas Ambulance
Texas Bakery
Texas Bank Security
Texas Car Wash
Texas Chili Taster
Texas Christmas Tree
Texas Cobra Boots
Texas Cow Cleaner
Texas Diet
Texas Divorce
Texas Door Handle
Texas Drought
Texas Easter Bunny
Texas Farmer
Texas Flashlight
Texas Gun Lover
Texas Holiday Lights
Texas Hood Ornament
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Texas Lampshades
Texas Limo
Texas Motorcycle Seat
Texas Office Chair
Texas Outhouse Art
Texas Rain Gauge
Texas Rocking Chair
Texas Speed Camera
Texas Steak
Texas Style Arrest
Texas Three-Kick Rule
Texas Truck
Texas-Europe Size Comparison
Texas Valentine
Texas Wal-Mart Shopper
Texas Wheel Mags
Texas Wheelchair
Texas Wildcat Dentist
Texas Wine Glass
Texas Womanhood
Texas Zoo
Valentines - Texas Style
Welcome to Texas, USPS
Why We Live in Texas

 

Atrophy Cure

Math Mug

Zidane Is Fast

Atheist Professor

Punctuation Matters

Shoes On The Danube Bank

Secondhand Vegetarian

Leading By Example

Plugged In

Stop Cutting Trees!

Nike Coffin

Busted

Bread Slice

Desert Soccer Fans

Sudoku Sampler B

Tight Fit Ship

Car for Saudi Women

Texting In The Old Days

Realism

Water Mask
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18-Jun-2018