Bed Ridden and Proud Of It

IV seeing you later, after my Jack Daniels medication





Who said hospital food wasn’t good for you?

QuotaBills
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, hast thou more of pain or pleasure! Endless torments dwell about thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee! - Joseph Addison


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20-May-2018