Lemon Life

Cocktail & mixed drink recipes for sour relationships



Lemon Life

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade
{then add Vodka}

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade. - Dale Carnegie

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

You know what's got the world in the shape today? Buddah, the Pope, Marx and Lemons. - Archie Bunker

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. - Unknown

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

We will get everything out of her that you can squeeze out of a lemon and a bit more. I will squeeze her until you can hear the pips squeak. - Eric Geddes

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster


see also   Relationship  &  Vodka  Sections
Estonia Vodka
Lemon Drops
Office Perks
Russian Shot Glass
Senior Lemon Picker
Vodka Diet

 

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Eat More Greens

Resting Bird

Car Seat Painting

Legal Disclosure

Bucket Nap

Double Vision

Car Moochanic

Humpback Kayak

Odor Detector

Braillik's Cube

Walking Tree

Pa Loves Women

Road Hugging Tire
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23-May-2018