Sober Santa

Don’t drink and drive this Christmas!





Hopefully Santa will have a safe delivery this year

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Write drunk; edit sober. - Ernest Hemingway

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - Winston Churchill

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemingway

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway


see also   Christmas  &  Safety  Sections
Alcohol Research
Calculus Drinks
Feeling Inebriated?
Grandma’s Remedies
How Tequila Works
If Alcohol Talked
Red Wine Diet
Redneck Wine Glass
Russian Shot Glass
Scottish Haircut
Sermon On Alcohol
Smirnoff Women
Whiskey Lurks Good
Yoga Stress Relief

 

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20-May-2018