Job Interview With God

George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump at the Pearly Gates

After passing on, George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview with God.

God asks Bush, “What do you believe in”?
Bush replies, “I believe in a free economy, a strong America, The American nation and so on ...”
God is impressed by Bush and tells him, “Great, come sit in the chair on my right.”

God goes to Obama and asks, “What do you believe in?”
Obama replies, “I believe in democracy, helping the poor, world peace, etc. .... ”
God is really impressed by Obama and tells him, “Well done, come sit in the chair on my left.”

Finally, God asks Trump, “What do you believe in?”
Trump replied, “I believe you’re sitting in my chair.”



QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

Black holes are where God divided by zero. - Steven Wright

God heales, and the Physitian hath the thankes. - George Herbert

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand. - Kurt Vonnegut

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields

Obama does not like the issue of where he was born. - Donald Trump

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

If God can work through me, he can work through anyone. - Saint Francis of Assisi

God, it seems, is a verb, not a noun, proper or improper. - R Buckminster Fuller

God gave us our memories so that we might have roses in December. - James M Barrie

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive? - Irv Kupcinet

If God gets sore enough at you Edith, he could turn your jawbone into an ass. - Archie Bunker

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

If ignorance goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights to George Bush's head. - Jim Hightower

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

In Islam, the legislative power and competence to establish laws belong exclusively to God. - Ayatollah Khomeini

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain

I always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to their fellows. - Susan B Anthony

Don't tell God that you have a big problem, tell your problem that you have a big God :) - Unknown

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

An author in his book must be like God in the universe: present everywhere and visible nowhere. - Gustave Flaubert

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us. - Charles Dickens

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is God's Gift. That's why we call it the 'Present.' - Bill Keane

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up. - Jay Leno

I have respect for Senator McCain. I used to like him a lot. I supported him. I raised a lot of money for his campaign against President Obama. - Donald Trump

There is only one history of any importance, and it is the history of what you once believed in, and the history of what you came to believe in. - Kay Boyle

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. - Bible


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21-Aug-2019