Job Interview With God

George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump at the Pearly Gates

After passing on, George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview with God.

God asks Bush, “What do you believe in”?
Bush replies, “I believe in a free economy, a strong America, The American nation and so on ...”
God is impressed by Bush and tells him, “Great, come sit in the chair on my right.”

God goes to Obama and asks, “What do you believe in?”
Obama replies, “I believe in democracy, helping the poor, world peace, etc. .... ”
God is really impressed by Obama and tells him, “Well done, come sit in the chair on my left.”

Finally, God asks Trump, “What do you believe in?”
Trump replied, “I believe you’re sitting in my chair.”



QuotaBills
All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Politics makes strange red-fellows. - Will Rogers

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

Without a doubt, it is the land God gave to Cain. - Mordecai Richler

Obama does not like the issue of where he was born. - Donald Trump

If God can work through me, he can work through anyone. - Saint Francis of Assisi

I am an expert in Higher Level Math: You + God = Enough - Zig Ziglar

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. - Steven Wright

Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world. - Victor Kraft

Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party. - Herbert Hoover

I don't believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me. - Amit Abraham

God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try. - Mother Teresa

Man - a creature created at the end of a work week when God was tired. - Mark Twain

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas, but for scars. - Elbert Hubbard

In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves. - Laurie H. Anderson

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

Let evil swiftly befall those who have wrongly condemned us - God will avenge us. - Jacques de Molay

I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. - Woody Allen

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

I won't give up, no matter what happens. I thank God for my unconquerable soul. - William Henley

When the media ask George Bush a question, he answers, "Can I use a lifeline?" - Robin Williams

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges. - Jack Handy

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. - Bible

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

God's blessings are dispensed according to the riches of his grace, not according to the depth of our faith. - Max Lucado

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the bureaucracy won't. - Hyman Rickover

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan


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24-Sep-2017