Artery: Study of paintings.
Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.
Barium: What you do with dead folks.
Benign: What you be after you be eight.
Bowel: A letter like A, E, I, O, U.
Catscan: Searching for the cat.
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.
Caesarian Section: A neighborhood in Rome.
Colic: A sheep dog.
Coma: A punctuation mark.
D&C: Where Washington is.
Dilate: To live longer than your kids do.
Enema: Not a friend.
Fester: Quicker than someone else.
Fibula: A small lie.
Genital: Not a Jew.
G.I. Series: An Army ball game.
Hangnail: Coat hook.
Impotent: Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff: A Doctor’s cane, sometimes shown with a snake.
Morbid: A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.
Node: Was aware of.
Outpatient: A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear: A fatherhood test.
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative: A letter carrier.
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.
Rectum: Dang nearly killed him.
Secretion: Hiding something.
Seizure: Roman emperor who lived in the Caesarian Section.
Tablet: A small table to change babies on.
Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the train station.
Tumor: More than one.
Urine: Opposite to you are out.
Varicose: Near by.
Very close veins: overly conceited and near by.
In rock music terms I'm like a dinosaur. - Belinda Carlisle
Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx
Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Conservatives define themselves in terms of what they oppose. - George Will
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce
I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's. - Henry Moore
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
In terms of being late or not starting at all, then it's never too late. - Alison Headley
An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. - Alfred A. Knopf
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens
"Absorption of overhead" is one of the most obscene terms I have ever heard. - Peter F Drucker
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Only priests and fools are fearless and I've never been on the best of terms with God. - Patrick Rothfuss
If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman
In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. - Erma Bombeck
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. - H L Mencken
One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
My basics are black, white, or neutral, and I'll wear a ton of jewelry or carry a brightly colored bag. - Rachel Zoe
Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan
There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't. - Lemony Snicket
Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius
I see history as really cyclical in terms of the intense idealism, and the desire to create a better life outside of societal norms. - Lauren Groff
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze
I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene
The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin
Medical & Redneck
Blonde’s Medical Dictionary
Far Wood Sale
New Medic Alert Bracelet
Don't Be A Stick In The Mud
Redneck Hitch Attachment
Window Fall Repair
Parking Spot For Women
Generations Past And Present
Jumping The Gun
New Speed Trap
Window Cleaning in New York
Welcome Beer Mat
Mr. Dressup II
Breast Cancer Cure