Dear Consumers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 98, with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver. Please also note: The Recycle Bin is labeled “Outhouse” My Computer is called “This Dern Contraption” Dial up Networking is called “Good Ol’ Boys” Control Panel is known as the “The Dashboard” Hard Drive is referred to as “4 Wheel Drive” Floppies are “them little ol plastic disc thangs” Instead of an error message a “roll of duct tape” pops up CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION: OK . . . . . . . . . . ats aw-right Cancel . . . . . . . stopdat Reset . . . . . . . . try er agin Yes . . . . .. . . . . yep No . . . . . . . . . . noop Find . . . . . . . . . hunt fer it Go to. . . . . . . . . over yonder Back . . . . . . . . . back yonder Help . . . . . . . . . hep me out here Stop . . . . . . . . . kwitit Start . . . . . . . . crank er up Settings . . . . . . . settins Programs . . . . . . . stuff dat duz stuff Documents . . . . . . stuff ah done did Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98: Tiperiter . . . . . . . . A word processing program Colerin book . . . . . . a graphics program Cyferin mersheen . . . . calculator Outhouse paper . . . . . notepad Iner-net . . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer 4.0 Pichers . . . . . . . . . A graphics viewer Dern lit varmit . . . . . A mouse We regret any inconvenience it may have caused ifin you received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. I hope this heps all y’all! Billy Bob Gates Head Honcho see also   Computer,  Language  &  Redneck  Sections Redneck Medical Terms You Might Be A Redneck If... I Can Still Kiss You Church Dinner 59 Chev Boat Urgent World War I Message An Iceberg Floated Into Town Walk Sign Timing Family Hands Chocolate Bed Crocodile Floor Texas 911 Walk Sign Ending Mower Handle Extender

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