The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
Who ever thought up the word “Mammogram”? Every time I hear it, I think - I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Old age ain't no place for sissies.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
The phrase “working mother” is redundant.
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
Behind every successful woman... is a substantial amount of coffee.
Behind every successful woman... is a basket of dirty laundry.
Every Man's Philosophy