Tonto’s Horse Coolant

The Lone Ranger rides again


The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?”

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, “I do - Why?”
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead outside!”

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, “Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better.”

Tonto said, “Sure, Kemosabe” and took off running circles around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, “Who owns that big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, “I do - what’s wrong with him this time?”

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, “Nothin’, but you left your Injun running.”


QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

Use a little of your horse's sense. - Archie Bunker

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

Care, and not fine stables, makes a good horse. - Danish Proverb

You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford


see also   Country  &  Native Indian  Sections
A Horse’s Ass IS Important
Ascot Fashion Statement
Double Horse
Frog To Horse Illusion
Head Path
Horse Hair
Horse Hat
Horse Laughter
Horse Mane Macrame
Horse Model
Horsing Around
Neigh Be Barn With It
One Horsepower Car
Quarter Horse or Quarterhorse?
Royal Engagement - Prince Charles & Camilla Exclusive
World’s First Horse Power Vehicle

 

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21-Jan-2019