Love Dress

How not to attract your spouse


A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD and laid on the couch! Waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.
“Needs ironing, what’s for dinner?”


QuotaBills
Hatred is blind, as well as love. - Oscar Wilde

I love treason but hate a traitor. - Julius Caesar

Shift from judgment to compassion to love. - Thomas Leonard

Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Love makes intellectual pretzels of us all. - Sarah Bird

Afflicted by love's madness all are blind. - Sextus Propertius

Mr. President, I love you, but you're wrong. - Paul Harvey

A life without love is like a year without summer. - Swedish Proverb

Love sought is good, but given unsought is better. - William Shakespeare

Where there is great love, there are always wishes. - Willa Cather

Love: one game never postponed on account of darkness. - Unknown

Love is the silent saying and saying of a single name. - Mignon McLaughlin

Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of our science. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love. - Voltaire

Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning. - Unknown

There is time for work. And time for love. That leaves no other time. - Coco Chanel

The greatest hockey player who ever lived: Bobby Orr, and I love him. - Donald S. Cherry

Love wouldn't be blind if the braille weren't so damned much fun. - Armistead Maupin

I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. - Roy Croft

The human heart is a strange vessel. Love and hatred can exist side by side. - Scott Westerfeld

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar. - Lao-Tzu

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. - Mother Teresa

They say love's like the measles - all the worse when it comes late in life. - Douglas William Jerrold

As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. - John Green

We have within us an extraordinary capacity for love, joy, and unshakable freedom. - Jack Kornfield

One often goes from love to ambition, but one rarely returns from ambition to love. - Duc de La Rochefoucauld

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in. - Morrie Schwartz

Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. - Franklin P. Jones

In melody divine,
My heart it beats to rapturous love,
I long to call you mine. - Unknown

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy - both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. - Michael Scott

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring. - George Santayana

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn;
So many I loved were not yet dead,
So many I love were not yet born. - Ogden Nash

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim


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18-Jun-2019