Love Dress

How not to attract your spouse


A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD and laid on the couch! Waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.
“Needs ironing, what’s for dinner?”


QuotaBills
All you need is love. - John Lennon

Love is a thing as any spirit free. - Geoffrey Chaucer

Take away love and our earth is a tomb. - Robert Browning

Falling in love is so hard on the knees. - Aerosmith

Love is a great wrecker of peace of mind. - Susan Cheever

Familiar acts are beautiful through love. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

In tennis, a love match is always possible. - Unknown

Never go on trips with anyone you do not love. - Ernest Hemingway

Love the life you live. Live the life you love. - Bob Marley

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. - Mother Teresa

To love others, we must first learn to love ourselves. - Unknown

Life exists for the love of music or beautiful things. - G K Chesterton

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. - Robert Frost

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. - Charlie Brown

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love. - Tom Robbins

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive. - Rob Montgomery

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

There are a lot of things happening that show us that this, right now, is a time to love. - Stevie Wonder

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm in love with the potential of miracles. For me, the safest place is out on a limb. - Shirley MacLaine

It is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. - Agatha Christie

Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill. - Groucho Marx

I love Thanksgiving turkey - it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. - Julius Gordon

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we're not extending in the present. - Marianne Williamson

There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment. - Sarah Dessen

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

A rose can say "I love you",
Orchids can enthrall,
But a weed bouquet in a chubby fist,
Yes, that says it all. - Unknown

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn;
So many I loved were not yet dead,
So many I love were not yet born. - Ogden Nash

I love power. But it is as an artist that I love it. I love it as a musician loves his violin, to draw out its sounds and chords and harmonies. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst

Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There's no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving. - Gail Tsukiyama


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19-Oct-2019