[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno
OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker
Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying
Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown
There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker
The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato
A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost
I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx
Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries
Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell
People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus
You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx
Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem
There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln
Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb
If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson
I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny
You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate
Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark
It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton
Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain
A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo
Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes
If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile
In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry
The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers
What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy
While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs
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