[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell
Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke
The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno
A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler
If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI
Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown
Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker
There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker
The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall
I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro
The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare
Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries
Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw
It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde
I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown
People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr
Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown
Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields
It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz
I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny
A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost
It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain
The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht
Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon
In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay
I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan
There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown
I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry
No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison
Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot
A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy
Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster
The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright
There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant
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