[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying
Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown
Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North
A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying
A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost
The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King Jr.
The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham
Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw
People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce
I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More
Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson
A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman
The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm
Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown
You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate
Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain
Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas
A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo
Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson
If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown
No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison
The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger
Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin
I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge
What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne
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