[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell
The law is silent during war. - Cicero
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow
Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter
Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb
There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker
Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams
A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King Jr.
It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker
In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce
If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem
The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr
The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde
Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown
The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld
The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson
A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray
Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker
A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright
Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht
I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan
There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro
Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers
That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.
When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman
What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne
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