[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli
I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright
Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler
A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler
Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart
Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker
The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato
A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost
Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire
It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries
Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce
What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken
Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler
Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain
Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson
If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile
Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon
I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.
What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein
Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille
What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne
Chinese Law School
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!
Why The Dog Left
Sex Education in Saskatchewan
Slovak Muffler Accessory
Onward, My Noble Steed!
Found The Food