[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb
Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover
OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker
The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero
Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler
A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler
Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson
A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying
Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King Jr.
Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire
I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro
Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker
Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries
What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey
Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius
My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller
Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler
Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius
A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo
The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle
The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm
It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz
I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny
A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray
It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France
The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht
Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry
When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman
I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot
Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France
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