[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers
Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone
Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb
Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown
We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb
Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller
To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown
Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart
It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain
The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren
Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker
Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw
Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell
In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb
What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain
My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce
The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr
A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader
So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa
If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown
A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray
You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo
If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France
The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller
I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry
When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand
When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman
A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy
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