[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell
Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown
Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler
Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying
I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North
Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker
It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes
The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King Jr.
I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx
Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb
What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey
Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader
Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius
The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle
Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld
The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson
Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright
A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo
If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes
If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile
At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra
I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan
There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry
That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.
The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger
When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West
What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein
Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille
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