[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright
A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler
A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler
If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown
Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams
Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial
I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx
Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries
The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham
If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb
You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad
Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs
Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx
Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius
Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem
I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm
Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown
Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost
It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson
Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain
If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine
In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown
That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.
When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand
When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman
What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy
What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne
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