Newleywed Sock Swallower

Apprehension about smelly feet


A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice.
“Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.”
His father replied, “Don’t you love this girl?”
“Oh yes, very much,” he said,“ but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that my fiance will be put off by them.”

“No problem,” said dad, “all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed.”

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom.
“Mom,” she said, “when I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.”
“Honey,” her mother consoled, “everyone has bad breath in the morning.”
“No, you don’t understand. My morning breath is so bad, I’m afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me.”

Her mother said simply, “Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While he is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth.”

“I shouldn’t say good morning or anything?” the daughter asked.
“Not a word,” her mother affirmed.

The loving couple was finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, “What on earth are you doing?”

“Oh, my,” he replies, “you’ve swallowed my sock!”


QuotaBills
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. - Unknown

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. - Unknown

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. - Steven Wright

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


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20-Mar-2019