Newleywed Sock Swallower

Apprehension about smelly feet


A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice.
“Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.”
His father replied, “Don’t you love this girl?”
“Oh yes, very much,” he said,“ but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that my fiance will be put off by them.”

“No problem,” said dad, “all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed.”

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom.
“Mom,” she said, “when I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.”
“Honey,” her mother consoled, “everyone has bad breath in the morning.”
“No, you don’t understand. My morning breath is so bad, I’m afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me.”

Her mother said simply, “Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While he is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth.”

“I shouldn’t say good morning or anything?” the daughter asked.
“Not a word,” her mother affirmed.

The loving couple was finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, “What on earth are you doing?”

“Oh, my,” he replies, “you’ve swallowed my sock!”


QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

My socks DO match. They're the same thickness. - Steven Wright

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. - Steven Wright

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled. - George Bernard Shaw

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


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15-Oct-2018