Newleywed Sock Swallower

Apprehension about smelly feet


A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice.
“Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.”
His father replied, “Don’t you love this girl?”
“Oh yes, very much,” he said,“ but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that my fiance will be put off by them.”

“No problem,” said dad, “all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed.”

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom.
“Mom,” she said, “when I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.”
“Honey,” her mother consoled, “everyone has bad breath in the morning.”
“No, you don’t understand. My morning breath is so bad, I’m afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me.”

Her mother said simply, “Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While he is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth.”

“I shouldn’t say good morning or anything?” the daughter asked.
“Not a word,” her mother affirmed.

The loving couple was finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, “What on earth are you doing?”

“Oh, my,” he replies, “you’ve swallowed my sock!”


QuotaBills
Teeth are always in style. - Unknown

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

My socks DO match. They're the same thickness. - Steven Wright

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. - William R. Alger

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor


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19-Aug-2018