University of Georgia Entrance Exam

Football Player Version

1. What language is spoken in France? ____________________

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions - OR - give the first name of Pamela Anderson. ____________________

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: (Circle the correct answer)
(a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army (d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope? (Circle the correct answer)
(a) Jewish (b) Catholic (c) Hindu (d) Polish (e) Agnostic (check only one)

5. Metric conversion. How many feet in 0.0 Meters? __________________

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5? ____________________

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately) ____________________

8. What are people in America’s far north called? (Circle the correct answer)
(a) Westerners (b) Southerners (c) Northerners

9. Spell - Bush, Carter and Clinton?
____________ ____________ ____________

10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.

11. Where does rain come from? (Circle the correct answer)
(a) Macy’s (b) a 7-11 (c) Canada (d) the sky

12. Can you explain Einstein’s Theory of Relativity? (Circle the correct answer)
(a) yes (b) no

13. What are coat hangers used for? ____________________

14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country? ____________________

15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium - OR - spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.

16. Where is the basement in a three story building located? ____________________

17. Which part of America produces the most oranges? (Circle the correct answer)
(a) New York (b) Florida (c) Canada (d) Wisconsin

18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you have? ____________________

19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for? ____________________

20. The Cornell University tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)? (Circle the correct answer)
(a) B.C. (b) A.D. (c) still waiting

See if he passed the literaracy test. - Archie Bunker

College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost

Adversity tests a man's true character. - Unknown

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

The first test of a truly great man is his humility. - John Ruskin

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure. - Laurence J. Peter

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal. - Sigfried Hulzer

Success can test one's mettle as surely as the strongest adversary. - Unknown

To acquire knowledge one must study. To acquire wisdom one must observe. - Marilyn Vos Savant

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Descartes commanded the future from his study more than Napoleon from the throne. - Oliver Holmes

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today. - E. Joseph Cossman

It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them. - Bill Vaughan

He who devotes 16 hours a day to hard study may become as wise at 60 as he thought himself at 20. - Mary Wilson Little

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. - Clive James

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. - Don Rickles

It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test. - Elbert Hubbard

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

Here is a test to find out whether your mission on earth is finished: If you are alive, it isn't. - Richard Bach

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

We study the glory of God, and the honour and liberty of parliament, for which we fight, without seeking our own interests. - Oliver Cromwell

NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. - Joanna Lumley

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

You need the kind of objectivity that makes you forget everything you've heard, clear the table, and do a factual study like a scientist would. - Steve Wozniak

There is not better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth. - Jean Giraudoux

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. - Garry Trudeau

If Moses had gone to Harvard Law School and spent three years working on the Hill, he would have written the Ten Commandments with three exceptions and a saving clause. - Charles Morgan

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams

A motorcycle functions entirely in accordance with the laws of reason, and a study of the art of motorcycle maintenance is really a miniature study of the art of rationality itself. - Robert M. Pirsig

The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most. - Jay Leno

see also   College,   Redneck   &   Sports  Sections


Squat Statue

Pothole Garden

Flood Games

Cadillac Clearance

Wheelbarrow Parking

Hebrew Sudoku Puzzles A

Bringing It Home

Why Bearded Men Never Shave

Side Rail

King Stump

Until We Understand Women

Grief Bacon

New Element in the Periodic Table

Flintstone Drum Set

Texas Wheelchair
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site