Do You Drive A Cataract?

Optometrist-required translation


A Japanese tourist went to a Canadian eye Doctor. After an examination, the Doctor said, “You have a cataract.”

The Japanese tourist shook his head. “Oh no. I have a Rincoln!”


QuotaBills
Who can blind lover's eyes? - Virgil

Imagination is the eye of the soul. - Joseph Joubert

Logic is in the eye of the logician. - Gloria Steinem

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

One may have good eyes and yet see nothing. - Italian proverb

A rich man is never ugly in the eyes of a girl. - French Proverb

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

I'm gonna keep a beagle-eye on you the whole weekend. - Archie Bunker

We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. - Harry Edwards

Menopause in progress: go around and do not make eye contact. - Unknown

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. - Judy Collins

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure it's fun to watch. - MGM Grand Hotel

It's very strange when the life you never had flashes before your eyes. - Terri Minsky

Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart. - Indian Proverb

I have looked into your eyes with my eyes. I have put my heart near your heart. - Pope John XXIII

Thou best philosopher, who yet dost keep/ Thy heritage, thou eye among the blind. - William Wordsworth

Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder. - Laurence J Peter

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes. - Marcel Proust

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff

A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world. - George Santayana

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind. - William Shakespeare

The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. - Marcel Proust

Open your eyes that you might see that all things are possible through you (with God's help). - Robert A. Schuller

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

Men are born with two eyes but with one tongue, in order that they may see twice as much as they say. - C.C. Colton

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Truth is always present; it only needs to lift the iron lids of the mind's eye to read its oracles. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

What your mind sees when you close your eyes marks the entrance to an endless universe: your imagination. - Stephen Helmes

The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract. - Oliver Wendell Homes, Jr.

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again. - Alex Tan

That's the kind of luck poor Mr. Lincoln had the night he went to the movies, and he sat in John Wilkes' booth. - Archie Bunker

You write to become immortal, or because the piano happens to be open, or you've looked into a pair of beautiful eyes. - Robert Schumann

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe

It is the eye of other people that ruin us. If I were blind I would want, neither fine clothes, fine houses or fine furniture. - Benjamin Franklin

The space in a needle's eye is sufficient for two friends, but the whole world is scarcely big enough to hold two enemies. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose - a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye. - Mary Shelley

Did Lincoln apologize to Alexander Graham Booth? Did you ever hear of scruples? I think Boom Boom caught 'em from a Chinaman. - Archie Bunker

When you hear people making hateful comments, stand up to them. Point out what a waste it is to hate, and you could open their eyes. - Taylor Swift

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. - Jim Henson

If a train is coming at you, closing your eyes won't save you... but if you look right at it, you at least have a chance to jump. - Andrew Vachss

You always feel when you look it straight in the eye that you could have put more into it, could have let yourself go and dug harder. - Emily Carr

Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain. - Henry David Thoreau

If I could be anything in the world I would want to be a teardrop because I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips. - Unknown


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23-Feb-2019