Do You Drive A Cataract?

Optometrist-required translation


A Japanese tourist went to a Canadian eye Doctor. After an examination, the Doctor said, “You have a cataract.”

The Japanese tourist shook his head. “Oh no. I have a Rincoln!”


QuotaBills
Imagination is the eye of the soul. - Joseph Joubert

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

We have set eyes on regions... far away. - Zheng He

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Weak eyes are fondest of glittering objects. - Thomas Carlyle

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. - Mahatma Gandhi

An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness. - Margaret Atwood

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? - Groucho Marx

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

The buyer needs a hundred eyes, the seller not one. - George Herbert

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker

Music isn't for the eyes - it's for the ears. - Adele

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

I'm gonna keep a beagle-eye on you the whole weekend. - Archie Bunker

We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. - Harry Edwards

If only we could pull out our brain and use only our eyes. - Pablo Picasso

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. - Judy Collins

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

Conjunctivitis dot com ... now there's a site for sore eyes. - Tim Vine

When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure it's fun to watch. - MGM Grand Hotel

Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart. - Indian Proverb

Thou best philosopher, who yet dost keep/ Thy heritage, thou eye among the blind. - William Wordsworth

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct. - Thomas Jefferson

You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever. - Donald Trump

What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily we do our eyes. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Keep your eye out for hot topics and trends. The media is constantly looking for timely stories. - Jim Kukral

Get thee glass eyes;
And, like a scurvy politician, seem
To see the things thou dost not. - William Shakespeare

Be good, keep your feet dry, your eyes open, your heart at peace, and your soul in the joy of Christ. - Thomas Merton

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

What your mind sees when you close your eyes marks the entrance to an endless universe: your imagination. - Stephen Helmes

It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, for the most essential things are invisible to the eye. - Unknown

The key to a better life isn't always a change of scenery. Sometimes it simply requires opening your eyes. - Richelle E. Goodrich

My life was going to flash before my eyes, but it decided to hide behind my eyes and quake with terror instead. - Sarah Rees Brennan

When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again. - Alex Tan

That's the kind of luck poor Mr. Lincoln had the night he went to the movies, and he sat in John Wilkes' booth. - Archie Bunker

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

What was most significant about the lunar voyage was not that men set foot on the moon but that they set eye on the earth. - Norman Cousins

You write to become immortal, or because the piano happens to be open, or you've looked into a pair of beautiful eyes. - Robert Schumann

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe

The space in a needle's eye is sufficient for two friends, but the whole world is scarcely big enough to hold two enemies. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

No, I think that was when Abraham Lincoln signed the Declaration of Independence. Ya know, "Fourscore and 7 years ago." - Archie Bunker

If a train is coming at you, closing your eyes won't save you... but if you look right at it, you at least have a chance to jump. - Andrew Vachss

You always feel when you look it straight in the eye that you could have put more into it, could have let yourself go and dug harder. - Emily Carr

Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain. - Henry David Thoreau

Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find his right road. - Dag Hammarskjold


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26-Apr-2018