Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Learn what you are and be such. - Pindar

Be quick to learn and wise to know. - George Burns

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

Lifelong learning is the great equalizer. - Unknown

Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit. - Vince Lombardi

There is little you can learn from doing nothing. - Zig Ziglar

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

The hardest part of growing up is learning how to wait. - Leo Rosten

First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak. - Epictetus

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden

The minute you're not learning I believe you're dead. - Jack Nicholson

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon. - Charles M. Schulz

Learning to let go of guilt and forgive yourself is part of emotional growth. - Unknown

I am convinced that the best learning takes place when the learner takes charge. - Seymour Papert

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go but rather learning to start over. - Nicole Sobon

To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize. - Voltaire

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

Sometimes when learning comes before experience it doesn't make sense right away. - Richard David Bach

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in. - Morrie Schwartz

If you don't know learn how to be scared, you'll never really learn how to be brave. - Simon Holt

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. - Gen. Colin L. Powell

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more you learn, the more places you'll go. - Dr. Seuss

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life. - Ann Richards

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. - Homer Simpson

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

To make no mistake is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future. - Plutarch

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. - Alvin Toffler

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

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Government Cutbacks

Abby's Wild Eyes

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22-Aug-2017