Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Learn to hold loosely all that is not eternal. - A. Maude Royden

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

The hardest part of growing up is learning how to wait. - Leo Rosten

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. - George Bernard Shaw

We learn from history that we do not learn from history. - Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

To learn something new, take the path that you took yesterday. - John Burroughs

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

Wise men learn by other men's mistakes, fools by their own. - H.G. Bohn

When I quote others I do so in order to express my own ideas more clearly. - Michel de Montaigne

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you. - B.B. King

We tend to steer our lives in the direction of the lessons we need to learn. - Don Campbell

As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more. - Jules Renard

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and be vibrantly alive in repose. - Mahatma Gandhi

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

Be open to learning new lessons even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday. - Ellen Degeners

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. - Mark Twain

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

I am a writer of books in retrospect. I talk in order to understand; I teach in order to learn. - Robert Frost

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. - Kurt Vonnegut

If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you. - Zig Ziglar

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

If I'm ever to reach any understanding of myself and the things around me, I must learn to stand alone. - Henrik Ibsen

Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life. - Ann Richards

Curious learning not only makes unpleasant things less unpleasant but also makes pleasant things more pleasant. - Bertrand Russell

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

Worrying is the most natural and spontaneous of all human functions. It is time to acknowledge this, perhaps even to learn to do it better. - Lewis Thomas

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
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23-Feb-2019