Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”


• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Failure is not failure if you learn from it. - Unknown

One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well. - Amos Bronson Alcott

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. - John Kabat-Zinn

You ain't gonna learn what you don't wanna know. - Jerry Garcia

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham

Failure is just another way to learn how to do something right. - Marian Wright Edelman

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century. - Lewis Perelman

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

You could listen to Woody Guthrie songs and actually learn how to live. - Bob Dylan

You can learn little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat. - Christy Mathewson

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

The man who never makes mistakes loses a great many chances to learn something. - Unknown

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

We can learn much from wise words, little from wisecracks, and less from wise guys. - William Arthur Ward

No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. - Gen. Colin L. Powell

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. - Kurt Vonnegut

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more you learn, the more places you'll go. - Dr. Seuss

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

Curious learning not only makes unpleasant things less unpleasant but also makes pleasant things more pleasant. - Bertrand Russell

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

I wanted to be scared again. I wanted to feel unsure again. That's the only way I learn, the only way I feel challenged. - Connie Chung

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

Meditation here may think down hours to moments. Here the heart may give a useful lesson to the head and learning wiser grow without his books. - William Cowper

see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective


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Rich Kid On The Block

Control Brothers

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Ancient Japanese Proverb

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Why We're Always Out of TP

Israeli TSA

Guitar Boat

Finger Phone

In-flight Refuelling

Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Bear Expectations

Money Drop

Foot Race
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