Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Listen to learn. Learn to earn! - Rob Liano

Be quick to learn and wise to know. - George Burns

A man must learn to forgive himself. - Arthur Davis Ficke

A man may learn wisdom even from a foe. - Aristophenes

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Learn to hold loosely all that is not eternal. - A. Maude Royden

One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well. - Amos Bronson Alcott

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

The hardest part of growing up is learning how to wait. - Leo Rosten

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. - George Bernard Shaw

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

The first lesson a revolutionary must learn is that he is a doomed man. - Huey P. Newton

You can learn little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat. - Christy Mathewson

We're all learning here; the best listeners will end up the smartest. - Charlene Li

I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught. - Winston Churchill

Learning to let go of guilt and forgive yourself is part of emotional growth. - Unknown

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

The man who never makes mistakes loses a great many chances to learn something. - Unknown

I am convinced that the best learning takes place when the learner takes charge. - Seymour Papert

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

Be open to learning new lessons even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday. - Ellen Degeners

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. - Mark Twain

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. - John Quincy Adams

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. - Homer Simpson

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life but in a new way. - Doris Lessing

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

We learn wisdom from failure much more than success. We often discover what we will do, by finding out what we will not do. - Samuel Smiles

NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. - Joanna Lumley

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Businesses should follow and learn from others' successes and failures in order to better understand and predict their own. - Ben Mezrich

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

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Organ Donor

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Reaching Out Too Far

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Fish View

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Stealth Woman

1st Rolex

Dish Dryer

Young Mechanic

Angry Mathematician

McLobster

Cliff Walks

Reading Chair
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28-May-2018