Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Learn by practice. - Martha Graham

To teach is to learn twice. - Joseph Joubert

We teach what we need to learn. - Gloria Steinem

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

Governments never learn. Only people learn. - Milton Friedman

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost. - Zig Ziglar

The hardest part of growing up is learning how to wait. - Leo Rosten

You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. - John Kabat-Zinn

You ain't gonna learn what you don't wanna know. - Jerry Garcia

The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him. - Robert Benchley

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

Don't try to make me consistent. I am learning all the time. - R Buckminster Fuller

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. - Louisa May Alcott

The road to learning by precept is long, but by example short and effective. - Seneca

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

I don't love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful. - Natalie Portman

You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and be vibrantly alive in repose. - Mahatma Gandhi

The more you learn about the dignity of the gorilla, the more you want to avoid people. - Dian Fossey

The point was to learn what it was we feared more: being misunderstood or being betrayed. - Adam Levin

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. - Mark Twain

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration. - Wanda Landowska

I think every day is Groundhog's Day. I get to learn from my mistakes and be better every day. - Ashton Kutcher

People have got to learn: if they don't have cookies in the cookie jar, they can't eat cookies. - Suze Orman

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently. - Palladas

Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life. - Ann Richards

You can only learn from the second-raters. The first-raters are out of range; you can't see how they get their effects. - Unknown

As we grow up we think we lose our friends. But the truth is that we don't lose friends, we just learn who the real ones are. - Unknown

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. - Alvin Toffler

The piano is a universal instrument. If you start there, learn your theory and how to read, you can go on to any other instrument. - Eddie Van Halen

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

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Stealth Snake

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WrenchWare

Pushing The Envelope

Social Media Explained

Pumping Services

Turn Into Lanes

Bull Squirrel

Sleep With Us

One Tough Lady!

Meep Meep

Just Thinking

Boneless Bananas
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12-Nov-2019