Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Learn by practice. - Martha Graham

Listen to learn. Learn to earn! - Rob Liano

A man must learn to forgive himself. - Arthur Davis Ficke

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Failure is not failure if you learn from it. - Unknown

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

The day you stop learning is the day you begin decaying. - Isaac Asimov

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

The minute you're not learning I believe you're dead. - Jack Nicholson

To learn something new, take the path that you took yesterday. - John Burroughs

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

A man must learn to endure patiently what he cannot avoid conveniently. - Michel de Montaigne

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. - Thomas Henry Huxley

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

Your mind is your instrument. Learn to be its master and not its slave. - Unknown

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon. - Charles M. Schulz

We tend to steer our lives in the direction of the lessons we need to learn. - Don Campbell

As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more. - Jules Renard

Learning to let go of guilt and forgive yourself is part of emotional growth. - Unknown

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

If you don't know learn how to be scared, you'll never really learn how to be brave. - Simon Holt

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged to learn Latin. - Heinrich Heine

Failure is instructive. People who really think learn quite as much from their failures as from their successes. - John Dewey

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history. - Aldous Huxley

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

Mistakes are the stepping stones to wisdom. We learn from trial and error; we become wise by understanding problems. - Leon Brown

We learn wisdom from failure much more than success. We often discover what we will do, by finding out what we will not do. - Samuel Smiles

You don't learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard, but by attacking and getting well hammered yourself. - George Bernard Shaw

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Meditation here may think down hours to moments. Here the heart may give a useful lesson to the head and learning wiser grow without his books. - William Cowper

Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds. - Plato


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“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
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23-Apr-2017