Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
To teach is to learn twice. - Joseph Joubert

Governments never learn. Only people learn. - Milton Friedman

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. - Bryan White

To learn something new, take the path that you took yesterday. - John Burroughs

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

The first lesson a revolutionary must learn is that he is a doomed man. - Huey P. Newton

We're all learning here; the best listeners will end up the smartest. - Charlene Li

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you. - B.B. King

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer. - William S. Burroughs

Believing you know it all will guarantee you learn nothing - and achieve even less. - Unknown

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

Everyone should experience defeat at least once during their career. You learn a lot from it. - Lou Holtz

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently. - Palladas

It's none of their business that you have to learn how to write. Let them think you were born that way. - Ernest Hemingway

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

Worrying is the most natural and spontaneous of all human functions. It is time to acknowledge this, perhaps even to learn to do it better. - Lewis Thomas

Each one must learn for himself the highest wisdom. It cannot be taught in words. Men who work cannot dream, and wisdom comes to us in dreams. - Smohalla


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

Ice Cream Rose

Dawn Gone

Bolt Action Door

You Want Me To Do What?

Metro Support

Fear Of Light

South Africa Taxi

Child Disarma-meant

Propane Diving

Leave Toes Outside

Tightrope Bike

China Road Load

Mega Samurai Puzzles A

Chinese Road Rocks

Lunch Break on a Hot Day
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

17-Feb-2018