Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Listen to learn. Learn to earn! - Rob Liano

Lifelong learning is the great equalizer. - Unknown

Who dares teach must never cease to learn. - John Cotton Dana

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

By listening, marketing will re-learn how to talk. - David Weinberger

It is best to learn wisdom by the experience of others. - Latin Proverb

The day you stop learning is the day you begin decaying. - Isaac Asimov

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

Failure is just another way to learn how to do something right. - Marian Wright Edelman

There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm. - Willa Cather

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

Thoroughly to teach another is the best way to learn for yourself. - Tyron Edwards

Somehow we learn who we really are and then live with that decision. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. - Thomas Henry Huxley

We're all learning here; the best listeners will end up the smartest. - Charlene Li

I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught. - Winston Churchill

Learning to let go of guilt and forgive yourself is part of emotional growth. - Unknown

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. - C S Lewis

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow. - Mahatma Gandhi

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

If you don't learn how to be scared, you'll never really learn how to be brave. - Simon Holt

The point was to learn what it was we feared more: being misunderstood or being betrayed. - Adam Levin

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

I am a writer of books in retrospect. I talk in order to understand; I teach in order to learn. - Robert Frost

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. - John Steinbeck

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.999 percent of them are made by people who are still alive. - Joshua Bruns

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Curious learning not only makes unpleasant things less unpleasant but also makes pleasant things more pleasant. - Bertrand Russell

That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history. - Aldous Huxley

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. - Alvin Toffler

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Nobody like to fail, but failure is an essential part of life and of learning. If your uniform isn't dirty, you haven't been in the game. - Ben Bernanke


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

Grass Room

Row Your Goat

Moment Just Before Being Soaked... @ T - 1

Bridge Claimed Another One

Woman-Riding Man

Thin Polar Bear

Hand Tool

Rainbow Beer

They Found Your Balls

Giraffe Pet

Hard Working Cop

Cattle Herding in Africa

Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

Tonsil Ring
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

18-Sep-2019