Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
To teach is to learn. - Chinese Proverb

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost. - Zig Ziglar

First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak. - Epictetus

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden

The minute you're not learning I believe you're dead. - Jack Nicholson

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

Somehow we learn who we really are and then live with that decision. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

The first lesson a revolutionary must learn is that he is a doomed man. - Huey P. Newton

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

The man who never makes mistakes loses a great many chances to learn something. - Unknown

I am convinced that the best learning takes place when the learner takes charge. - Seymour Papert

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in. - Morrie Schwartz

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. - John Quincy Adams

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. - Kurt Vonnegut

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Nobody like to fail, but failure is an essential part of life and of learning. If your uniform isn't dirty, you haven't been in the game. - Ben Bernanke

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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25-Jun-2017