Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Governments never learn. Only people learn. - Milton Friedman

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Learn to hold loosely all that is not eternal. - A. Maude Royden

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

How do I learn to speak when silence is all I know? - Susie Clevenger

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

You ain't gonna learn what you don't wanna know. - Jerry Garcia

My joy in learning is partly that it enables me to teach. - Seneca

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. - Chinese Proverb

The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. - John Powell

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

Somehow we learn who we really are and then live with that decision. - Eleanor Roosevelt

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Learning to let go of guilt and forgive yourself is part of emotional growth. - Unknown

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. - C S Lewis

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

I don't love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful. - Natalie Portman

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

The more you learn about the dignity of the gorilla, the more you want to avoid people. - Dian Fossey

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration. - Wanda Landowska

We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong. - Bill Vaughan

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you. - Zig Ziglar

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently. - Palladas

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

You can only learn from the second-raters. The first-raters are out of range; you can't see how they get their effects. - Unknown

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. - Joanna Lumley

Businesses should follow and learn from others' successes and failures in order to better understand and predict their own. - Ben Mezrich

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

Never try to be better than someone else. Learn from others, and try to be the best you can be. Success is the by-product of that preparation. - John Wooden

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

USB Vacuum Cleaner

Ventilated Bridge

Mexican Fire Extinguisher

Latte Art

Titanic's Non-Romantic Scene

Monkeying Around

Fake News

Winter Tires

Geek Gravestone

Polar Bear Attack

Corgideer

Ice Hockey Meltdown

Upended Water Buffalo

Don't Count On It

Feather Cleaning
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

10-Dec-2018