Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
We teach what we need to learn. - Gloria Steinem

A man may learn wisdom even from a foe. - Aristophenes

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

It is best to learn wisdom by the experience of others. - Latin Proverb

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

You can learn a line from a win and a book from a defeat. - Paul Brown

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. - Bryan White

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. - Louisa May Alcott

I look like I'm Chinese or Thai or Japanese - very different. - Mary Kom

Thoroughly to teach another is the best way to learn for yourself. - Tyron Edwards

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

We tend to steer our lives in the direction of the lessons we need to learn. - Don Campbell

It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. - Warren Buffet

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow. - Mahatma Gandhi

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

If you don't know learn how to be scared, you'll never really learn how to be brave. - Simon Holt

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged to learn Latin. - Heinrich Heine

People have got to learn: if they don't have cookies in the cookie jar, they can't eat cookies. - Suze Orman

A lot of problems would never be problems if we could learn to talk to each other instead of about each other. - Unknown

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If you learn to listen for clues as to how I feel instead of what I say, you will be able to understand me much better. - Mara Botonis

Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

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13-Dec-2017