Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Be quick to learn and wise to know. - George Burns

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Who dares teach must never cease to learn. - John Cotton Dana

Failure is not failure if you learn from it. - Unknown

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well. - Amos Bronson Alcott

It is best to learn wisdom by the experience of others. - Latin Proverb

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy. - Sarah Ban Breathnach

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century. - Lewis Perelman

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

The first lesson a revolutionary must learn is that he is a doomed man. - Huey P. Newton

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again. - Richard Branson

Our ability lies not in what we know but in what we are willing to learn. - Unknown

To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize. - Voltaire

Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at. - Lyn Karol

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

If you don't know learn how to be scared, you'll never really learn how to be brave. - Simon Holt

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

I am a writer of books in retrospect. I talk in order to understand; I teach in order to learn. - Robert Frost

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

I think every day is Groundhog's Day. I get to learn from my mistakes and be better every day. - Ashton Kutcher

People have got to learn: if they don't have cookies in the cookie jar, they can't eat cookies. - Suze Orman

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. - John Steinbeck

A lot of problems would never be problems if we could learn to talk to each other instead of about each other. - Unknown

Failure is instructive. People who really think learn quite as much from their failures as from their successes. - John Dewey

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

I wanted to be scared again. I wanted to feel unsure again. That's the only way I learn, the only way I feel challenged. - Connie Chung

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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24-May-2017