Test #1

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

“No,” said the Director, “a normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?”
 

Test #2

Once there was a madman who was committed to an asylum. The asylum had a rule that if any 'resident' could pass a special 5-question test, he could go free. No resident had passed in the 20-year history of the asylum.

It was the madman's turn to take the test.

After a grueling 4 hours of testing, the examining officer said, “Well, you've passed four of the five tests. I'm very impressed. However, the last test is the hardest of all.”

The examiner lead the man to a dark room, switched on a flashlight, and pointed it at a light bulb hanging from the ceiling. “For your fifth test, you must walk on the beam of light and change the bulb.”

The man looked at him with an outraged expression and exclaimed, “Are you NUTS?!?”

He continued, “Yeah right, when I reach half-way you'll turn it off and let me fall!”