Menopause Jewelry

Mood swing ring for the cheap husband

Can’t find a big enough fake diamond for her?


My husband isn’t happy with my mood swings.

The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods.

When I’m in a good mood, it turns green.

When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond.


QuotaBills
No pressure, no diamonds. - Mary Case

Big girls need big diamonds. - Elizabeth Taylor

I ain't in a happy frame of mood. - Archie Bunker

It ain't exactly the Pope diamond. - Archie Bunker

Menopause. A pause while you reconsider men. - Margaret Atwood

I ain't in no mood to play 120 questions. - Archie Bunker

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. - Confucius

Character is a diamond that scratches every other stone. - Cyrus A. Bartol

Diamonds are only lumps of coal that stuck to their jobs. - Malcolm Forbes

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

Menopause: you have to laugh or you'll end up crying. - Missa Says

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Menopause in progress: go around and do not make eye contact. - Unknown

It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all. - Mark Twain

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

I do not want horses or diamonds - I am happy in possessing you. - Clara Schumann

Rappers wear diamonds to compensate for a lack of fashion sense. - Asap Rocky

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

Proverbs are mental gems gathered in the diamond districts of the mind. - William R. Alger

Invest in the human soul. Who knows, it might be a diamond in the rough. - Mary McLeod Bethune

It's called MENOPAUSE for a reason... MEN should PAUSE before they speak! - Unknown

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood. - Lou Holtz

Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. - Gene Fowler

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

That terrible mood of depression of whether it's any good or not is what is known as The Artist's Reward. - Ernest Hemingway

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining. - Leonard Bernstein

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor


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Menopause Sucks

 

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10-Dec-2018