A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield
A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.” - Anonymous
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. - Socrates
First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.” - Anonymous
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t. - James Holt McGavra
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Henny Youngman
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. - Red Skelton
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, “What does a woman want?” - Dumas
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. - Nash
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage. - Sam Kinison
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you’re right, shut up. - Patrick Murra
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - David Bissonette
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Anonymous
see also
Marriage & Relationship Sections
All Divorces Start With Marriage
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