Redneck Plane Repair

How Bubba the Mechanic gets cheap airfare



Cardboard placed over plane exit door

QuotaBills
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

As the velocity of air increases, its pressure decreases. - Daniel Bernoulli

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

Disappointments are to the soul what thunderstorms are to the air. - Johann C. F. von Schiller

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson


see also   Plane  &  Redneck  Sections
African Airlines
Airbus 2006 - A Tale of Two Pilots
Air Meal
Airplane In Suds
Amish Airlines - Maiden Voyage
Flight Instructions
India Airlines Economy Flight
Invisible Air Force One
Kulula Airlines - Flying 101
Lutheran Airlines – New Service in Minnesnowta
Middle East Airlines
Punjabi Airways
Redneck Airlines

 

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25-May-2018