Valentine Gift

Heart-shaped present from the dog



A late Valentine's gift from the dog

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

I claim there ain't another Saint as great as Valentine. - Ogden Nash

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Valentine hearts beat more passionately than everyday hearts. - Unknown

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

Valentine's Day is like Armistice Day - you declare a truce. - Milton Berle

Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January. - Jim Gaffigan

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot. - Milton Berle

She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash. - Milton Berle

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine. - Christopher Plummer

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine! - Thomas Hood

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy. - Milton Berle

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

I love Valentine's Day! I love it, I love it, I love it. I like having doors opened for me. - Ginnifer Goodwin

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

Why buy flowers for Valentine's Day? Just go to a cemetery and collect a dozen off a few graves. - Jarod Kintz

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

The thing about Valentine's day is that people discover who are single and who to feel jealous of. - Faye Morgan

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time. - Emma McLaughlin

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash

This Valentine's Day rent a poem for your loved. They come in three sizes - small, medium, and romantic. Free refills available to Premium Members. - Jarod Kintz

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash. - Joan Rivers

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" - Dave Barry

My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the good parts for herself. - Milton Berle

I bought a dog the other day. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. - Steven Wright

I'd love to do a character with a wife, a nice little house, a couple of kids, a dog, maybe a bit of singing, and no guns and no killing, but nobody offers me those kind of parts. - Christopher Walken

Hollywood wanted to change my birthdate. I was born after Valentine's Day, so they wanted to change it to February 14. A Latin lover should be born on Valentine's Day. I said no. - Cesar Romero

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. - Unknown

The ancient feud between cat and dog is not forgotten in the north, for the Lynx is the deadly foe of the Fox and habitually kills it when there is soft snow and scarcity of easier prey. - Ernest T. Seton

Megyn Kelly: You've called women you don't like "fat pigs," "dogs," "slobs," and "disgusting animals."
Donald Trump: Only Rosie O'Donnell. - Donald Trump

They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for one's country. But in modern war, there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason. - Ernest Hemingway


see also   Dog  &  Valentine  Sections
Chicago Valentine
Childhood Romance
Crocodial Love
Choose Valentine
Happy Valentine’s Day to Our New Father
Happy vOWLentine’s Day
Lawyer’s Valentine Gift
My Valentine
Perfect Valentines Day
Pig Valentine
Redneck Valentine Love Poems
Religious Valentine
Romance Lost
She Loves Me ... She Loves Me Not
Texas Valentine
Unhappy Valentine’s Day
Valentine Heart
Valentine Love & Hisses
Valentine Not
Valentine One Liners
Valentine Riddles
Valentine Splash
Valentine’s Day Dinner
Valentine’s Day Trivia
Vera Valentine

 

Family Picture

Plane Pushers

Food For Thought

Construction SNAFU Awards

Last Selfie

Cat Brush

Shopping Bike

Hide and Seek

Paint Pants

Newfie Riding Lawn Mower

Dryland Fishing

Korean Public Toilet

Sudoku Sampler

Redneck Moving Company

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

British Holiday

MicroMac

Towel Dog

Breakfast Cupcakes

Edible Rubik's Cube
Submissions by Marian RenstromFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

24-May-2017