And The Oscar Goes To...

Hollywood enacts its own La La Land

Best Picture Award provides fodder for Worst Performance Of The Year



Jordan Horowitz points out the real winner at the 2017 Oscars

Biggest mistake in Oscars history after La La Land wrongly named Best Picture winner.

“There’s a mistake. Moonlight, you won best picture,” Jordan Horowitz, La La Land producer, announced to the gasps of a shocked crowd. He held up the card clearly showing the winner was Clinton, not Moonlight.

Warren Beatty used to be the talk of the town because of the women he had on his arm, but now it’s because of the envelope he’s got tucked under it.

QuotaBills
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. - Steven Wright

There is no Nobel Prize for fact-checking. - John Oliver

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

The virtue lies in the struggle, not in the prize. - Richard Monckton Milnes

In war there is no second prize for the runner-up. - Omar Bradley

I'd give that picture a Japanese Academy Reward! - Archie Bunker

Awards are like piles. Sooner or later, every bum gets one. - Maureen Lipman

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

I'm the last guy in the world to feel overlooked by the Academy. - Jack Nicholson

Prizes are like sashes, you can wear them and be Miss World for a bit. - Martin Amis

Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away. - Carol Burnett

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you ask? Well, it was near lunch. - Archie Bunker

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. - Mark Twain

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

Perhaps one has to be old before one learns how to be amused rather than shocked. - Pearl S. Buck

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

You get an education when you read the small print. You get a shock when you don't. - Buck Tracy

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. - Jack Benny

If quantum mechanics hasn't profoundly shocked you, you haven't understood it yet. - Niels Bohr

My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award. - Michael Caine

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. - Henry Kissinger

I really wanted the MTV Award the most, It was a golden popcorn container and it looks really neat. - Kirsten Dunst

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

I have written a book. This will come as quite a shock to some. They didn't think I could read, much less write. - George W. Bush

Imagine if you succeeded in making the world perfect for your children what a shock the rest of life would be for them. - Joyce Maynard

They who meet on an April night are forever lost in love, if there's moonlight all about and there's no moon above. - Fred Saidy

'Groundhog Day' was one of the greatest scripts ever written. It didn't even get nominated for an Academy Award. - Bill Murray

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

When my generation was your age, we took crazy risks. The wildest thing was - prepare to be shocked - we deliberately ingested carbohydrates! - Dave Barry

The high prize of life, the crowning fortune of a man, is to be born with a bias to some pursuit, which finds him in employment and happiness. - Emerson


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29-May-2017