Farmer’s Hole

How a Redneck adapts to change on the farm


One morning a farmer happened to be sharing his two-seater outhouse with his none-too-bright brother-in-law.

“Darnit,” cursed the farmer as he pulled up his overalls. “Dropped a quarter in the dang hole.”

“Don’t worry, buddy, I’ll get it for you,” offered his companion cheerfully, pulling out a $5 bill and tossing it into the farmer’s hole.

“What’d you do that for?” asked the bewildered farmer.

“Heck, you didn’t think I’d go down there just for a quarter, did you?”



QuotaBills
Marry money. - Max Shulman

God gave me my money. - John D. Rockefeller

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Yacht: a floating box you throw money into. - Unknown

I find all this money a considerable burden. - J Paul Getty

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. - Samuel Butler

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance. - Claus Moser

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. - Joe Louis

If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. - Henry Ford

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart. - Jonathan Swift

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk. - Robert Benchley

Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money. - Alexandre Dumas

A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money. - Carter Glass

The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes. - Gore Vidal

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower. - Lady Marguerite Blessington

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn’t have become teachers. - Robin Williams

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis. - Marlon Brando

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Never work just for money or power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. - Ogden Nash

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one. - Homer Simpson

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. - G. Gordon Liddy

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

I went to the bank and reviewed my savings. I found out I have all the money I'll ever need if I die tomorrow. - Henny Youngman

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Modern poets talk against business, poor things, but all of us write for money. Beginners are subjected to trial by market. - Robert Frost

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea. - Woody Allen

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump

I have respect for Senator McCain. I used to like him a lot. I supported him. I raised a lot of money for his campaign against President Obama. - Donald Trump


see also   Bathroom,  Farm,  Flatulent  &  Redneck  Sections
Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters
Fix The Outhouse, Pa!

 

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18-Aug-2019