Atheist Professor

Religious brain child


A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”




QuotaBills
God is love, but get it in writing. - Gypsy Rose Lee

He has not so much brain as ear-wax. - William Shakespeare

Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

You had no faith to lose and you know it. - Bob Dylan

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

Man discovers truth by reason only, not by faith. - Tolstoy

It is more difficult to praise rightly than to blame. - Thomas Fuller

For the man who prays in his heart, the whole world is a church. - Sylvain of Athos

Blind faith in your leaders, or in anything, will get you killed. - Bruce Springsteen

I can't believe that God put us on this earth to be ordinary. - Lou Holtz

Faith must be enforced by reason... when faith becomes blind it dies. - Mahatma Gandhi

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

Kind hearts are more than coronets
An simple faith than Norman blood. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. - Hebrews 11:1

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. - C S Lewis

Faith is much better than belief. Belief is when someone else does the thinking. - R Buckminster Fuller

We make our friends. We make our enemies. But God makes our next-door neighbour. - G K Chesterton

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

The goal was scored a little bit by the hand of God, another bit by the head of Maradona. - Diego Maradona

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. - Andre Gide

Faith goes up the stairs that love has built and looks out the window which hope has opened. - Charles Spurgeon

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart. - Mother Teresa

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

A word of encouragement during failure is worth more than a dictionary of praise following success. - Unknown

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. - Bil Keane

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source of hope. Love of the past implies faith in the future. - Stephen Ambrose

None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith. - Paulo Coelho

The meme for blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the simple unconscious expedient of discouraging rational inquiry. - Richard Dawkins

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

It is easy - terribly easy - to shake a man's faith in himself. To take advantage of that, to break a man's spirit, is devil's work. - George Bernard Shaw

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


see also   Religious  Section
Brain Logic

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
Autographed Copy
Biblical Humour
Breakable Postal Package
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Da End Iss Near
Daily Inspiration
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
God’s Little Instructions
Golfing Nun
Halo to the Holy Dog
How To Tweet Others
In-Spired Safety Tip
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
New School Prayer
Organ Donor
Please Help My Car
Rabbi Road
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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22-Feb-2019