Atheist Professor

Religious brain child


A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”




QuotaBills
Man thinks and God laughs. - Yiddish Proverb

Thank God for a few free waves. - Miki Dora

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

The best way to get praise is to die. - Italian Proverb

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. - Henny Youngman

Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think. - Ambrose Bierce

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

God gives nothing to those who keep their arms crossed. - African Saying

God depends on us. It is through us that God is achieved. - Andre Gide

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. - Woody Allen

What is faith unless it is to believe what you do not see? - St. Augustine

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him. - Jim Elliot

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. - Edward de Bono

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke. - Hugh Elliott

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

God not only plays dice, he throws them in the corner where you can't see them. - Stephen Hawking

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. - Oprah Winfrey

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden. - Corrie ten Boom

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

Faith goes up the stairs that love has built and looks out the window which hope has opened. - Charles Spurgeon

If God had intended for breasts to be seen, He wouldn't have created large woolen pullovers. - Tracey Ullman

Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay

A word of encouragement during failure is worth more than a dictionary of praise following success. - Unknown

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. - Bible

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

The meme for blind faith secures its own perpetuation by the simple unconscious expedient of discouraging rational inquiry. - Richard Dawkins

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover


see also   Religious  Section
Brain Logic

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
Autographed Copy
Biblical Humour
Breakable Postal Package
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Da End Iss Near
Daily Inspiration
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
God’s Little Instructions
Golfing Nun
Halo to the Holy Dog
How To Tweet Others
In-Spired Safety Tip
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
New School Prayer
Organ Donor
Please Help My Car
Rabbi Road
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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19-Jun-2019