Atheist Professor

Religious brain child


A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”




QuotaBills
Man is a god in ruins. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Man thinks and God laughs. - Yiddish Proverb

God is not a dead equation. - Muhammad Iqbal

Faith is under the left nipple. - Martin Luther

You cannot serve God and Mammon. - Bible

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

The best way to get praise is to die. - Italian Proverb

God, please save me from your followers! - Unknown

Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest? - Henry II

He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955. - Gene Perret

It is more difficult to praise rightly than to blame. - Thomas Fuller

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things. - Vincent Van Gogh

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

I found a country [America] with thirty-two religions and only one sauce. - Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perogord

Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe. - Unknown

My parents treated my like I had a brain - which, in turn, caused me to have one. - Diane Lane

I won't give up, no matter what happens. I thank God for my unconquerable soul. - William Henley

God gave us the gift of lie; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. - Voltaire

Sometimes I get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter. - Ansel Adams

Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden. - Corrie ten Boom

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for not having given it wings. - Indian Proverb

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

Open your eyes that you might see that all things are possible through you (with God's help). - Robert A. Schuller

Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty. - Zig Ziglar

The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source of hope. Love of the past implies faith in the future. - Stephen Ambrose

I don't like to write like God. It is only because you never do it, though, that the critics think you can't do it. - Ernest Hemingway

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

There is not greater reward in our profession than the knowledge that God has entrusted us with the physical care of his people. - Dr. Elmer Hess

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell


see also   Religious  Section
Brain Logic

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
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Biblical Humour
Breakable Postal Package
Catch Up With Jesus
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Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
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Halo to the Holy Dog
How To Tweet Others
In-Spired Safety Tip
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
New School Prayer
Organ Donor
Please Help My Car
Rabbi Road
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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22-Sep-2018