Atheist Professor

Religious brain child


A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”




QuotaBills
I am an atheist... thank God. - Dave Allen

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Conscience is God present in man. - Victor Hugo

Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

To God, thy country, and thy friend be true. - Bill Vaughan

We steal if we touch tomorrow. It is God's. - Henry Ward Beecher

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

Jesus was a hiker. The wilderness was His retreat. - Toni Sorenson

My reason nourishes my faith and my faith my reason. - Norman Cousins

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. - Steven Wright

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein

If only we could pull out our brain and use only our eyes. - Pablo Picasso

Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible. - Mary McLeod Bethune

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

I am the vessel. The draft is God's. And God is the thirsty one. - Dag Hammarskjold

Our faith in the present dies out long before our faith in the future. - Ruth Benedict

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. - Jules Renard

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. - Rabindranath Tagore

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament showeth his handiwork. - Psalms 19:1

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

If you want to be successful, just meditate, man. God will tell you what people need. - Carlos Santana

It's faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes life worth living. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

God gave us the gift of lie; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. - Voltaire

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. - Jane Wagner

The goal was scored a little bit by the hand of God, another bit by the head of Maradona. - Diego Maradona

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Faith goes up the stairs that love has built and looks out the window which hope has opened. - Charles Spurgeon

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. - Josh Billings

Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. - Saint Francis of Assisi

You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one. - John Wooden

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. - Reinhold Niebuhr


see also   Religious  Section
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Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
Autographed Copy
Biblical Humour
Breakable Postal Package
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Sign Generator
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Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
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Halo to the Holy Dog
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In-Spired Safety Tip
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
New School Prayer
Organ Donor
Please Help My Car
Rabbi Road
Redneck Revenge
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Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
With The Pope
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Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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19-Apr-2019