Atheist Professor

Religious brain child


A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”




QuotaBills
What has God wrought? - Samuel Morse

I will praise any man that will praise me. - William Shakespeare

I have a brain and a uterus, and I use both. - Patricia Shroeder

Without a doubt, it is the land God gave to Cain. - Mordecai Richler

My reason nourishes my faith and my faith my reason. - Norman Cousins

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

If God can work through me, he can work through anyone. - Saint Francis of Assisi

God gives nothing to those who keep their arms crossed. - African Saying

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see. - William Newton Clark

God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him. - Jim Elliot

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

I am the vessel. The draft is God's. And God is the thirsty one. - Dag Hammarskjold

Most people would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. - Unknown

The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. - George Bernard Shaw

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

Every evening I turn worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway. - Mary C. Crowley

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. - Oprah Winfrey

I do know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together. - Charles Dickens

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. - Andre Gide

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Blaise Pascal

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die. - Bill Watterson

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. - Garrison Keillor

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

He who begins with Metaphysics will not only become confused in matters of religion, but will fall into complete infidelity. - Maimonides

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker


see also   Religious  Section
Brain Logic

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
Autographed Copy
Biblical Humour
Breakable Postal Package
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Da End Iss Near
Daily Inspiration
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
God’s Little Instructions
Golfing Nun
Halo to the Holy Dog
How To Tweet Others
In-Spired Safety Tip
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
New School Prayer
Organ Donor
Please Help My Car
Rabbi Road
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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22-Jul-2018