Atheist Professor

Religious brain child


A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”




QuotaBills
In God we trust. - U.S. Currency Motto

Faith is under the left nipple. - Martin Luther

We walk by faith, not by sight. - 2 Corinthians 7

God is like a skilful Geometrician. - Sir Thomas Browne

He was a wise man who invented God. - Plato

God has always been hard on the poor. - Jean Paul Marat

God, please save me from your followers! - Unknown

God is closest to those with broken hearts. - Jewish Proverb

I do not believe in God and I am not an atheist. - Albert Camus

Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think. - Ambrose Bierce

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. - W Somerset Maugham

Tea is the magic key to the vault where my brain is kept. - Frances Hardinge

If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans. - Yiddish Proverb

We come not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them. - Francis A Walker

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

God never sent hunger without sending something to satisfy it. - Ireland Proverb

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke. - Hugh Elliott

Faith, to my mind, is a stiffening process, a sort of mental starch. - E.M. Forster

Faith must be enforced by reason... when faith becomes blind it dies. - Mahatma Gandhi

God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas, but for scars. - Elbert Hubbard

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I cannot conceive how a man could look up into the heavens and say there is no God. - Abraham Lincoln

Sometimes I get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter. - Ansel Adams

An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupied. - Arnold H. Glasow

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. - Josh Billings

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible. - George Burns

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

If God would have wanted us to live in a permissive society He would have given us Ten Suggestions and not Ten Commandments. - Zig Ziglar

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

There is not greater reward in our profession than the knowledge that God has entrusted us with the physical care of his people. - Dr. Elmer Hess

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

It's all nonsense. It's only nonsense. I'm not afraid of the rain. I am not afraid of the rain. Oh, oh, God, I wish I wasn't. - Ernest Hemingway

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. - Reinhold Niebuhr


see also   Religious  Section
Brain Logic

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
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Job Interview With God
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Letters to God - From Children
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Rabbi Road
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Reformed Buddhists
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The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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12-Nov-2019