Fertilizer Club
This letter
is being sent to you from the West Coast - where the spring season will soon be upon us
and most of you will have an avid interest in your front lawn. This is a fertilizer club
and it will not cost you a cent to join. Upon receipt of this letter go to the address at
the top of the list and crap on their front lawn. You will not be the only one there, so
don't feel embarrassed.
Then make five (5) copies of this letter and send it to five (5) of your friends who
appreciate good lawns. You will not get any cash or cheques, but within one week, if this
chain is not broken, there will be 9,126 people relieving themselves on your front lawn.
Your reward will come this summer when you have the greenest front lawn in your
neighbourhood.
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Syringe
2 Suppository Drive.
Mrs. Pyle O. Crap
1422 Enema Street.
Mrs. and Mrs. Tooka Frizzick
343 Running Loose Road.
Mrs. and Mrs. Smelly B. Hind
476 Diarrhea Way.
Mrs. and Mrs. C. Howie Farts
89 Rectum Road.
Mrs. and Mrs. A. Bigger Movement
276 Fertilizer Way.
Mr. Hugh Janus
14 Poopie Park.
Mrs. Lucy Bowels
20 Bed Pan Cover.
PS: If you are constipated, pass this along to your neighbour. Do NOT break this chain.
One man didn't give a toot and lost his entire front lawn.