Why I Didn't Show Up For Work
twelve bottles of whisky in my cellar, and was told by my wife to empty the contents of
each bottle down the sink or else. So I said I would, and proceeded with the unpleasant
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the drain with the ecception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass which I drank; pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it and threw tho rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out ot the next glass and poured the cork from the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drank and drinked the pour. When I had every one emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, and glasses, and sinks with the other, which were 29, and as the house came by I counted them again and finally had all the houses in one bottle which I drank.
I was not under tho alcofluence of incohol, as some theople pink I was.
I was not as thunk as you might drink. I felt so feelish, I didn't know who was me, and the drunker I stood thero the longer I got.”