Pizza Order in 2020

Order tracking in the future


Operator: “Thank you for calling Olympic Pizza. May I have your...”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order.”

Operator: “May I have your NIDN first, sir?”

Customer: “My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh… it’s 6102049798-45-54610.”

Operator: “Thank you, Mr. Ward. I see you live at 1642 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number’s 495-2177. Your office number over at Squamish Insurance is 745-2305 and your cell number’s 276-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?”

Customer: “Huh? I’m at home. Where d’ya get all this information?”

Operator: “We’re wired into the system, sir.”

Customer: (Sighs) “Oh, well, I’d like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special Luge pizzas - the one that the street luge guy almost ordered...”

Operator: “I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir.”

Customer: “Whaddya mean?”

Operator: “Sir, your medical records indicate that you’ve got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won’t allow such an unhealthy choice.”

Customer: “Dang. What do you recommend, then?”

Operator: “You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

Customer: “What makes you think I’d like something like that?”

Operator: “Well, you checked out “Gourmet Soybean Recipes” on Google last week, sir. That’s why I made the suggestion.”

Customer: “All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What’s that cost?”

Operator: “That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The “damage,” as you refer to in several of your past emails to us, comes to $49.99.”

Customer: “Lemme give you my credit card number.”

Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.”

Customer: “I’ll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.”

Operator: “That won’t work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn.”

Customer: “Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I’ll have the cash ready. How long will it take?”

Operator: “We’re running a little behind - it’ll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you’re in a hurry you might want to pick ’em up while you’re out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.”

Customer: “How the heck do you know I’m riding a bike?”

Operator: “It says here you’re in arrears on your car payments, so your car got reposessed. But your Harley’s paid up, so I just assumed that you’d be using it.”

Customer: “@#%/$@&?#!”

Operator: “I’d advise watching your language, sir. You’ve already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop.”

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: “Will there be anything else, sir?”

Customer: “No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don’t forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas.”

Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but our ad’s exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.”


QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

Good order is the foundation of all things. - Edmund Burke

Order is the shape upon which beauty depends. - Pearl S. Buck

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

In order to be walked on, you have to be lying down. - Brian Weir

Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work. - Bette Davis

In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different. - Coco Chanel

Do your job and demand your compensation - but in that order. - Cary Grant

Take me or leave me, or, as is the usual order of things, both. - Dorothy Parker

In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily. - Count Talleyrand

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people. - Arthur Schopenhauer

I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be. - Albert Einstein

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

When I quote others I do so in order to express my own ideas more clearly. - Michel de Montaigne

I keep on making what I can't do yet in order to learn to be able to do it. - Vincent van Gogh

In order for a thing to be horrible it has to suffer a change you can recognize. - Ray Bradbury

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso

You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life. - Governor Grand Moff Tarkin

In order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do the next time. - Anthony d'Angelo

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. - Yogi Berra

It is not necessary to hope in order to undertake, nor to succeed in order to persevere. - Charles the Bold

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. - Peter De Vries

You must live with people to know their problems, and live with God in order to solve them. - P.T. Forsyth

I am a writer of books in retrospect. I talk in order to understand; I teach in order to learn. - Robert Frost

The capitalist chain is again threatening to break at the weakest link. Spain is next in order. - Leon Trotsky

Life is like a bank account. You must put something in it in order for you to take anything out. - Joe Segal

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

Men are born with two eyes but with one tongue, in order that they may see twice as much as they say. - C.C. Colton

Let's be frank, the Italians' technological contribution to humankind stopped with the pizza oven. - Bill Bryson

From where we stand the rain seems random. If we could stand somewhere else, we would see the order in it. - Tony Hillerman

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible. - Fred Smith

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. - Golda Meir

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely. - Mary Pickford

I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi

The difficulties which I meet with in order to realize my existence are precisely what awaken and mobilize my activities, my capacities. - José Ortega Y Gasset

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Most people spend most of their days doing what they do not want to do in order to earn the right, at times, to do what they may desire. - John Brown


see also   Pizza,  Relationship  &  Shopping  Sections
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24-Aug-2019