Pizza Order in 2020

Order tracking in the future


Operator: “Thank you for calling Olympic Pizza. May I have your...”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order.”

Operator: “May I have your NIDN first, sir?”

Customer: “My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh… it’s 6102049798-45-54610.”

Operator: “Thank you, Mr. Ward. I see you live at 1642 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number’s 495-2177. Your office number over at Squamish Insurance is 745-2305 and your cell number’s 276-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?”

Customer: “Huh? I’m at home. Where d’ya get all this information?”

Operator: “We’re wired into the system, sir.”

Customer: (Sighs) “Oh, well, I’d like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special Luge pizzas - the one that the street luge guy almost ordered...”

Operator: “I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir.”

Customer: “Whaddya mean?”

Operator: “Sir, your medical records indicate that you’ve got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won’t allow such an unhealthy choice.”

Customer: “Dang. What do you recommend, then?”

Operator: “You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

Customer: “What makes you think I’d like something like that?”

Operator: “Well, you checked out “Gourmet Soybean Recipes” on Google last week, sir. That’s why I made the suggestion.”

Customer: “All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What’s that cost?”

Operator: “That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The “damage,” as you refer to in several of your past emails to us, comes to $49.99.”

Customer: “Lemme give you my credit card number.”

Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.”

Customer: “I’ll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.”

Operator: “That won’t work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn.”

Customer: “Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I’ll have the cash ready. How long will it take?”

Operator: “We’re running a little behind - it’ll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you’re in a hurry you might want to pick ’em up while you’re out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.”

Customer: “How the heck do you know I’m riding a bike?”

Operator: “It says here you’re in arrears on your car payments, so your car got reposessed. But your Harley’s paid up, so I just assumed that you’d be using it.”

Customer: “@#%/$@&?#!”

Operator: “I’d advise watching your language, sir. You’ve already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop.”

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: “Will there be anything else, sir?”

Customer: “No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don’t forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas.”

Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but our ad’s exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.”


QuotaBills
Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

No, it's all in perfect working order. - Spike Milligan

Good order is the foundation of all things. - Edmund Burke

Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit. - Henry Adams

When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail. - Ziad K. Abdelnour

In order to be walked on, you have to be lying down. - Brian Weir

Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work. - Bette Davis

In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different. - Coco Chanel

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

Do your job and demand your compensation - but in that order. - Cary Grant

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? - George Carlin

Take me or leave me, or, as is the usual order of things, both. - Dorothy Parker

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant. - Charles de Gaulle

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty. - Imbesi's Law of Conservation of Filth

I shudder to think that one day someone may give the same order for Rome. - Scipio Aemilianus

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion. - Albert Camus

I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order. - John Burroughs

I keep on making what I can't do yet in order to learn to be able to do it. - Vincent van Gogh

In order for a thing to be horrible it has to suffer a change you can recognize. - Ray Bradbury

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. - Yogi Berra

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. - Peter De Vries

You must live with people to know their problems, and live with God in order to solve them. - P.T. Forsyth

In order to be big, you have to think big. If you think small, you're going to be small. - Emeril Lagasse

The capitalist chain is again threatening to break at the weakest link. Spain is next in order. - Leon Trotsky

Life is like a bank account. You must put something in it in order for you to take anything out. - Joe Segal

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. - Ludwig Wittgenstein

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

Businesses should follow and learn from others' successes and failures in order to better understand and predict their own. - Ben Mezrich

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

The mathematical sciences particularly exhibit order, symmetry, and limitation; and these are the greatest forms of the beautiful. - Aristotle

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely. - Mary Pickford

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Most people spend most of their days doing what they do not want to do in order to earn the right, at times, to do what they may desire. - John Brown

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia


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21-Sep-2018