Pizza Order in 2020

Order tracking in the future


Operator: “Thank you for calling Olympic Pizza. May I have your...”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order.”

Operator: “May I have your NIDN first, sir?”

Customer: “My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh… it’s 6102049798-45-54610.”

Operator: “Thank you, Mr. Ward. I see you live at 1642 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number’s 495-2177. Your office number over at Squamish Insurance is 745-2305 and your cell number’s 276-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?”

Customer: “Huh? I’m at home. Where d’ya get all this information?”

Operator: “We’re wired into the system, sir.”

Customer: (Sighs) “Oh, well, I’d like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special Luge pizzas - the one that the street luge guy almost ordered...”

Operator: “I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir.”

Customer: “Whaddya mean?”

Operator: “Sir, your medical records indicate that you’ve got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won’t allow such an unhealthy choice.”

Customer: “Dang. What do you recommend, then?”

Operator: “You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

Customer: “What makes you think I’d like something like that?”

Operator: “Well, you checked out “Gourmet Soybean Recipes” on Google last week, sir. That’s why I made the suggestion.”

Customer: “All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What’s that cost?”

Operator: “That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The “damage,” as you refer to in several of your past emails to us, comes to $49.99.”

Customer: “Lemme give you my credit card number.”

Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.”

Customer: “I’ll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.”

Operator: “That won’t work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn.”

Customer: “Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I’ll have the cash ready. How long will it take?”

Operator: “We’re running a little behind - it’ll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you’re in a hurry you might want to pick ’em up while you’re out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.”

Customer: “How the heck do you know I’m riding a bike?”

Operator: “It says here you’re in arrears on your car payments, so your car got reposessed. But your Harley’s paid up, so I just assumed that you’d be using it.”

Customer: “@#%/$@&?#!”

Operator: “I’d advise watching your language, sir. You’ve already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop.”

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: “Will there be anything else, sir?”

Customer: “No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don’t forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas.”

Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but our ad’s exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.”


QuotaBills
Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

No, it's all in perfect working order. - Spike Milligan

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

Order is the shape upon which beauty depends. - Pearl S. Buck

When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail. - Ziad K. Abdelnour

In order to be walked on, you have to be lying down. - Brian Weir

In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different. - Coco Chanel

In order to be irreplaceacle, one must always be different. - Coco Chanel

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

Do your job and demand your compensation - but in that order. - Cary Grant

Words were not given to man in order to conceal his thoughts. - Jose Saramago

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? - George Carlin

Take me or leave me, or, as is the usual order of things, both. - Dorothy Parker

In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily. - Count Talleyrand

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant. - Charles de Gaulle

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty. - Imbesi's Law of Conservation of Filth

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

When I quote others I do so in order to express my own ideas more clearly. - Michel de Montaigne

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy. - Groucho Marx

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

Roses are red, Pizza sauce is too, I ordered a large, and None of it is for you. - Unknown

When I give a minister an order, I leave it to him to find the means to carry it out. - Napoleon Bonaparte

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. - Yogi Berra

She needed the chaos within her in order to discover the extraordinary no man could ever reach. - Robert M. Drake

In order to live free and happily you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice. - Richard Bach

Order, unity, and continuity are human inventions, just as truly as catalogues and encyclopedias. - Bertrand Russell

Men are born with two eyes but with one tongue, in order that they may see twice as much as they say. - C.C. Colton

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. - Ludwig Wittgenstein

Let's be frank, the Italians' technological contribution to humankind stopped with the pizza oven. - Bill Bryson

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible. - Fred Smith

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. - Golda Meir

The mathematical sciences particularly exhibit order, symmetry, and limitation; and these are the greatest forms of the beautiful. - Aristotle

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi

Sometimes, in order to follow our moral compass and/or our hearts, we have to make unpopular decisions or stand up for what we believe in. - Tabatha Coffey

The men who have done big things are those who were not afraid to attempt big things, who were not afraid to risk failure in order to gain success. - B.C. Forbes


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23-Jun-2017