Pizza Order in 2020

Order tracking in the future


Operator: “Thank you for calling Olympic Pizza. May I have your...”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order.”

Operator: “May I have your NIDN first, sir?”

Customer: “My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh… it’s 6102049798-45-54610.”

Operator: “Thank you, Mr. Ward. I see you live at 1642 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number’s 495-2177. Your office number over at Squamish Insurance is 745-2305 and your cell number’s 276-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?”

Customer: “Huh? I’m at home. Where d’ya get all this information?”

Operator: “We’re wired into the system, sir.”

Customer: (Sighs) “Oh, well, I’d like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special Luge pizzas - the one that the street luge guy almost ordered...”

Operator: “I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir.”

Customer: “Whaddya mean?”

Operator: “Sir, your medical records indicate that you’ve got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won’t allow such an unhealthy choice.”

Customer: “Dang. What do you recommend, then?”

Operator: “You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

Customer: “What makes you think I’d like something like that?”

Operator: “Well, you checked out “Gourmet Soybean Recipes” on Google last week, sir. That’s why I made the suggestion.”

Customer: “All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What’s that cost?”

Operator: “That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The “damage,” as you refer to in several of your past emails to us, comes to $49.99.”

Customer: “Lemme give you my credit card number.”

Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.”

Customer: “I’ll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.”

Operator: “That won’t work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn.”

Customer: “Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I’ll have the cash ready. How long will it take?”

Operator: “We’re running a little behind - it’ll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you’re in a hurry you might want to pick ’em up while you’re out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.”

Customer: “How the heck do you know I’m riding a bike?”

Operator: “It says here you’re in arrears on your car payments, so your car got reposessed. But your Harley’s paid up, so I just assumed that you’d be using it.”

Customer: “@#%/$@&?#!”

Operator: “I’d advise watching your language, sir. You’ve already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop.”

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: “Will there be anything else, sir?”

Customer: “No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don’t forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas.”

Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but our ad’s exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.”


QuotaBills
Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

Good order is the foundation of all things. - Edmund Burke

Order is the shape upon which beauty depends. - Pearl S. Buck

Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit. - Henry Adams

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

In order to be walked on, you have to be lying down. - Brian Weir

In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different. - Coco Chanel

In order to be irreplaceacle, one must always be different. - Coco Chanel

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

Words were not given to man in order to conceal his thoughts. - Jose Saramago

In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily. - Count Talleyrand

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The greatest masterpiece in literature is only a dictionary out of order. - Jean Cocteau

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion. - Albert Camus

In order for a thing to be horrible it has to suffer a change you can recognize. - Ray Bradbury

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

Roses are red, Pizza sauce is too, I ordered a large, and None of it is for you. - Unknown

When I give a minister an order, I leave it to him to find the means to carry it out. - Napoleon Bonaparte

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. - Peter De Vries

You must live with people to know their problems, and live with God in order to solve them. - P.T. Forsyth

Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. - P.J. O'Rourke

The capitalist chain is again threatening to break at the weakest link. Spain is next in order. - Leon Trotsky

She needed the chaos within her in order to discover the extraordinary no man could ever reach. - Robert M. Drake

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. - Joe Girard

In order to live free and happily you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice. - Richard Bach

Order, unity, and continuity are human inventions, just as truly as catalogues and encyclopedias. - Bertrand Russell

Men are born with two eyes but with one tongue, in order that they may see twice as much as they say. - C.C. Colton

From where we stand the rain seems random. If we could stand somewhere else, we would see the order in it. - Tony Hillerman

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. - Golda Meir

Businesses should follow and learn from others' successes and failures in order to better understand and predict their own. - Ben Mezrich

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

Sometimes, in order to follow our moral compass and/or our hearts, we have to make unpopular decisions or stand up for what we believe in. - Tabatha Coffey

The men who have done big things are those who were not afraid to attempt big things, who were not afraid to risk failure in order to gain success. - B.C. Forbes


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11-Dec-2017