Church Humour
Are you headed in the wrong direction?

1. A Church had problems with outsiders parking in its parking lots, so they put up a sign:
CHURCH CAR PARK – FOR MEMBERS ONLY – Trespassers will be baptized!

2. “No God – No Peace. Know God – Know Peace.”

3. “Free Trip To Heaven. Details Inside.”

4. “Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins.”

5. “Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here.”

6. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, “For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.”

7. When the restaurant next to another Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, “Open Sundays,” the Church reciprocated with its own message: “We are open on Sundays, too.”

8. “Fight truth decay – study the Bible daily.”

9. “How will you spend eternity – Smoking or Non-Smoking?”

10. “Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives.”

11. “Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours long, and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.”

12. “It is unlikely there will be a reduction in the wages of sin.”

13. “Do not wait for the hearse to take you to Church.”

14. “If you’re headed n the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.”

15. “If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again.”

16. “Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.”

17. “This is a Ch_ _ ch. What is missing?”

18. “In the dark? Follow the Son.”

19. “Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up.”

20. “If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.”


see also   Religious  Section
All Dogs Go To Heaven
Biblical Humour
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Humour
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Devil Sky
Garden of Eat’En
God Darts
Judas Asparagus
Moses As A Lifeguard
Moses’ Headache Relief - the Sequel
Moses’ USB Tablets
Need A Lifeguard?
Organ Donor
Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment
Prayer Conditioning
Prayer Request for Bob
Sundae Sermon
Truth Decay
Uplifting Church
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

Iron Deposit

Too Soon

Government Cutbacks

Abby's Wild Eyes

Redneck Gas Cap

Footlympics

How To Burn Calories

Grad Hands

2fer Sudoku Puzzles A

Eye Testing In Progress

PMS

Long Reach Shower TP

Redneck Muscles

Tree Awning

Saskatchewan Cool

Ajay With Heron His Chest

Water Dancer

Split Personality Ad

Mechanics Gone Wrong - Car Teeter Totter

Redneck Watch
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

22-Aug-2017