Secret To Making A Marriage Last
[My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage
last...]
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food
and companionship.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in Red Deer and mine is in Calgary.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!"
So I bought her an electric chair.
My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the
carburetor.
I asked where the car was.
She told me, "In the lake."
My wife is
on a new diet.
Coconuts and bananas.
She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she ever climb a tree now.
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!"
Remember... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.