Scottish Ticket Avoider

Suitcase hurling in Scotland


A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, was riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector. Finally, the conductor managed to corner him and told him to pay up: “You’ve been on for five miles - that’ll be 50p, please, and 10p for your suitcase.”

The Scotsman responded, “I ha’not! I want a, ha’penny fare, I just got on this vera moment.”

They begin to argue, and the ticket collector becomes more and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over London Bridge, he grabs the Scotsman’s suitcase, and hurls it out of the bus.

It lands in the river and sinks without a trace. The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, “Not only are ya trin’ to overcharge me for the ticket - but now you’ve gone a’drowned ma wee boy, Jimmy!”


QuotaBills
Winners train, losers complain. - Unknown

Champions train. Losers complain. - Unknown

Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

I do my very best to avoid shark fin. - Anthony Bourdain

Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis

He who asks questions cannot avoid the answers. - Cameroon Proverb

People who avoid their fears also avoid their power. - Timothy Roderick

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. - Charles Barkley

I you want to avoid battles, stay out of the grassy areas. - Pokemon

You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it. - French Proverb

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. - Dale Carnegie

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. - Jean de La Fontaine

I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward. - Charlotte Brontë

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen. - WC Fields

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan

If you train hard, you'll not only be hard, you'll be hard to beat. - Herschel Walker

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls. - Carl Jung

A collection of rare thoughts is nothing less than a cabinet of intellectual gems. - William B. Sprague

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

People spend entire lifetimes trying to avoid the things that have already happened. - Silvia Hartmann

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

The more you learn about the dignity of the gorilla, the more you want to avoid people. - Dian Fossey

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

The problem in this world is to avoid concentration of power - we must have a dispersion of power. - Milton Friedman

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist - the taxidermist leaves the hide. - Mortimer Caplan

I think the shocking thing to discover is the owls are not stupid and very feral, very hard to train. - Robbie Coltrane

To avoid an occasion for our virtues is a worse degree of failure than to push forward pluckily and make a fall. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

The very things we wish to avoid, neglect and flee from turn out to be the 'prima materia' from which all real growth comes. - Andrew Harvey

If a train is coming at you, closing your eyes won't save you... but if you look right at it, you at least have a chance to jump. - Andrew Vachss

Change is one of the scariest things in the world and yet it is also one of those variables of human existence that no one can avoid. - Aberjhani

The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds. - Plato


see also   Nationality  &  Train  Sections
Suitcase Inspection
Welcome To Scotland

 

Scottish Choices

Is Lunch Ready?

Food Bank Closure

Breakfast In Bed

'Turn Me Over' Pickup

Ice Cream Thief

Chocolate Bed

Uplifting Church

Touchy Subject

It's A Keeper

Horse Hearse

No Pit Stop Car

Street Cleaning in China

Absolutely Nothing

Flower Drums

Really?

Waterproof Notepad

Seniors Bike Club

Family Hands

Flight Downer
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19-Aug-2018