Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas

Home on the Range for an Aussie


A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation and meets an Aussie farmer.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh? We have wheat fields that are at least twice at large!”

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation almost dies when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.

He asks, “And what are those?”

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”


QuotaBills
A big book is a big bore. - Callimachus

Dream big and dare to fail. - Norman Vaughan

Worry gives a small thing a big shadow. - Swedish Proverb

To die will be an awfully big adventure. - James M Barrie

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries. - Stephen King

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do. - Johnny Carson

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

My bottom is so big it's got its own gravitational field. - Carol Vorderman

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

I also do my own processing, so it means a big commitment in lab time. - Leonard Nimoy

The Blues and jazz will live forever, so will the Delta and the Big Easy. - Jack Nicholson

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. - Ralph Richardson

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye

I am not worried about the deficit. It's big enough to take care of itself. - Ronald Reagan

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. - Robert Frost

No matter how big and bad you are, when a 2-year-old hand you a toy phone, you answer it. - Unknown

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Some see the glass as half-empty, some see the glass as half-full. I see the glass as too big. - George Carlin

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

If God had intended for breasts to be seen, He wouldn't have created large woolen pullovers. - Tracey Ullman

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

The best rule of thumb for character is to remember that if you can't be big, don't belittle. - Unknown

The most satisfying thing in life is to have been able to give a large part of one's self to others. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

Inherited wealth is a big handicap to happiness. It is as certain death to ambition as cocaine is to morality. - William K Vanderbilt

Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts. - Albert Einstein

I'm someone who believes the only way to see a movie is in a big theater, on a big screen, with a big bag of popcorn. - Dan Glickman

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

What the insurance companies have done is to reverse the business so that the public at large insures the insurance companies. - Gerry Spence

I become apprehensive when I observe people in large groups because they are often controlled by their emotions - and from there, emerge as mobs. - W. Andrew Welker

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

Don't listen to those who say you're taking too big a chance. If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor. - Neil Simon


see also   Farm  Section
Everything Is Bigger In Texas
My Daughter & My Money
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bank Security
Texas Office Chair
Texas Wink
Why We Live in Texas

 

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21-Apr-2019