Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas

Home on the Range for an Aussie


A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation and meets an Aussie farmer.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh? We have wheat fields that are at least twice at large!”

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation almost dies when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.

He asks, “And what are those?”

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”


QuotaBills
Dream big and dare to fail. - Norman Vaughan

That's what I call living large. - Donald Trump

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. - Charles M. Schulz

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries. - Stephen King

Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far. - Theodore Roosevelt

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. - Jonathan Kozol

He's got that big house to maintain in San Clemency. - Archie Bunker

Pantomime is a big thing in the cultural calendar of my country. - Alan Cumming

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. - Mark Twain

Sergio Leone was a big influence on me because of the spaghetti westerns. - Quentin Tarantino

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. - Ralph Richardson

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye

It's the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen. - John Wooden

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Everyone should be paid what he is worth, no matter how big a pay cut is involved. - Unknown

We'll have a big bowl of spaghetti and a plate of some of that veal scallopeepee. - Archie Bunker

Work hard. Rock hard. Eat hard. Sleep hard. Grow big. Wear glasses if you need 'em. - Webb Wilder

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. - Robert Frost

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things. - Frank A. Clark

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

The most satisfying thing in life is to have been able to give a large part of one's self to others. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

With 'The A-Team,' it was like, 'Alright, I'm going to do a big popcorn movie and see how that feels.' - Joe Carnahan

True contentment depends not upon what we have; a tub was large enough for Diogenes, but a world was too little for Alexander. - Charles Caleb Colton

What the insurance companies have done is to reverse the business so that the public at large insures the insurance companies. - Gerry Spence

The space in a needle's eye is sufficient for two friends, but the whole world is scarcely big enough to hold two enemies. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. - Marilyn Monroe

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton

I'm very anxious to see who the fans choose for their favorite finalist. Their decision could have a big effect on my ultimate decision. - Donald Trump

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain


see also   Farm  Section
Everything Is Bigger In Texas
My Daughter & My Money
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bank Security
Texas Office Chair
Texas Wink
Why We Live in Texas

 

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23-Feb-2019