Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas

Home on the Range for an Aussie


A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation and meets an Aussie farmer.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh? We have wheat fields that are at least twice at large!”

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation almost dies when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.

He asks, “And what are those?”

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”


QuotaBills
Big girls need big diamonds. - Elizabeth Taylor

To die will be an awfully big adventure. - James M Barrie

You have to think anyway, so why not think big? - Donald Trump

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. - Charles M. Schulz

Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far. - Theodore Roosevelt

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do. - Johnny Carson

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. - Winston Churchill

My bottom is so big it's got its own gravitational field. - Carol Vorderman

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

There should be no bank too big to fail but no individual too big to jail. - Hillary Clinton

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

I am not worried about the deficit. It's big enough to take care of itself. - Ronald Reagan

It's the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen. - John Wooden

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

Everyone should be paid what he is worth, no matter how big a pay cut is involved. - Unknown

Roses are red, Pizza sauce is too, I ordered a large, and None of it is for you. - Unknown

Work hard. Rock hard. Eat hard. Sleep hard. Grow big. Wear glasses if you need 'em. - Webb Wilder

No matter how big and bad you are, when a 2-year-old hand you a toy phone, you answer it. - Unknown

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude. - A.A. Milne

If you don't make mistakes, you're not working on hard enough problems. And that's a big mistake. - Unknown

I am really honored frankly to have played such a big role in hopefully, hopefully, getting rid of this issue. - Donald Trump

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

I'll tell you, it's Big Business. If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it's Big Business. - Donald Trump

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

With 'The A-Team,' it was like, 'Alright, I'm going to do a big popcorn movie and see how that feels.' - Joe Carnahan

True contentment depends not upon what we have; a tub was large enough for Diogenes, but a world was too little for Alexander. - Charles Caleb Colton

What the insurance companies have done is to reverse the business so that the public at large insures the insurance companies. - Gerry Spence

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. - Marilyn Monroe

Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon

I become apprehensive when I observe people in large groups because they are often controlled by their emotions - and from there, emerge as mobs. - W. Andrew Welker

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

The men who have done big things are those who were not afraid to attempt big things, who were not afraid to risk failure in order to gain success. - B.C. Forbes


see also   Farm  Section
Everything Is Bigger In Texas
My Daughter & My Money
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bank Security
Texas Office Chair
Texas Wink
Why We Live in Texas

 

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24-Jun-2019