Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas

Home on the Range for an Aussie


A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation and meets an Aussie farmer.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh? We have wheat fields that are at least twice at large!”

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation almost dies when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.

He asks, “And what are those?”

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”


QuotaBills
A big book is a big bore. - Callimachus

Hunters do it with a big bang. - Unknown

Worry gives a small thing a big shadow. - Swedish Proverb

You have to think anyway, so why not think big? - Donald Trump

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

The big print giveth and the fine print taketh away. - Fulton J Sheen

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. - Winston Churchill

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

It doesn't take a very big person to carry a grudge. - Unknown

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

Big changes in our lives are more or less a second chance. - Harrison Ford

Little children, little sorrows; big children, great sorrows. - Danish Proverb

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Sergio Leone was a big influence on me because of the spaghetti westerns. - Quentin Tarantino

There should be no bank too big to fail but no individual too big to jail. - Hillary Clinton

You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me. - C S Lewis

You can break that big plan into small steps and take the first step right away. - Indira Gandhi

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. - Robert Frost

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

In order to be big, you have to think big. If you think small, you're going to be small. - Emeril Lagasse

Don't tell God that you have a big problem, tell your problem that you have a big God :) - Unknown

The only way to see a movie is in a big theater, on a big screen, with a big bag of popcorn. - Dan Glickman

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

I'm a big crier in general. The right life insurance commercial will take me out for a couple of days. - Ike Barinholtz

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. - David Lloyd George

I'm someone who believes the only way to see a movie is in a big theater, on a big screen, with a big bag of popcorn. - Dan Glickman

With 'The A-Team,' it was like, 'Alright, I'm going to do a big popcorn movie and see how that feels.' - Joe Carnahan

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. - Marilyn Monroe

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear

The men who have done big things are those who were not afraid to attempt big things, who were not afraid to risk failure in order to gain success. - B.C. Forbes

Your surfing can get better on every turn, on every wave you catch. Learn to read the ocean better. A big part of my success has been wave knowledge. - Kelly Slater

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain


see also   Farm  Section
Everything Is Bigger In Texas
My Daughter & My Money
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bank Security
Texas Office Chair
Texas Wink
Why We Live in Texas

 

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20-Aug-2019